Yes, other blue seats could be at risk because of economic neglect – eg Tolley’s East Coast patch

March 31, 2015

One of Alf’s mates, who has been reading some analysis by NZ Herald political hack John Armstrong, was unduly concerned about his political pal’s future.

He has been assured that Alf is safe and secure in his National stronghold.

The concern was raised by Armstrong’s observation that Winston Peters had cut a swathe through the wealthier parts of the Northland electorate in Saturday’s byelection.

This secured him the most votes in the National bastion of Kerikeri and matched the number cast for the ruling party in Wellsford.

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Our cops deserve something fit for a SWOT team … but must settle for something more rustic

February 19, 2015
Our cops are getting this.

They will go crime-fighting with this…

No, not this...

…rather than this.

Alf was seriously excited  – for a while at least – by a report from Littlefield, Arkansas.

It said the Littlefield Police Department had acquired a 200 kiloton nuclear warhead under a US Department of Defense programme that distributed surplus weapons to local agencies throughout the USA.

The device, which is ten times more powerful than the bomb detonated over Hiroshima in World War II, will be used to deter crime in Littlefield and the greater Jasper County area, Police Chief Jefferson Bailey said.

“There will be no more crime in Littlefield,” Bailey said, “Because if there is, I’ll blow this town sky-high.”

Many of Littlefield’s 15,000 residents, according to the report, had  expressed concern over its police department’s acquisition of the nuclear weapon and the guidelines governing its potential use.

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Keeping admirably mum about Mike and the cops and the murky matter of who said what to whom

February 10, 2015

Mrs Grumble phoned during the boring bit of Parliamentary proceedings today to recommend giving a Sergeant Schultz award to Police Minister Michael Woodhouse.

Woodhouse won plaudits from her for his skill at saying nothing about his role in the Mike Sabin matter.

Well, almost nothing.

He  refused – again – to confirm whether he was briefed by Police about Sabin.

‘But he  said he was “absolutely” confident he had handled the situation properly.

If he handled the matter properly without being briefed by the Police, of course, he is entitled to another award, this one for  prowess in the Police portfolio while being kept in the dark.

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Institutional racism is bad if it puts you behind bars but it’s good if it gets you into Parliament

October 13, 2014

The Maori Party is happy to go along with some forms of institutional racism.

"I keep this handy to deal with Winston Peters."

“I keep this handy to deal with Winston Peters.”

Indeed, it encourages them and will excoriate critics who suggest they be got rid of.

It all depends on the nature of the outcome and who are the beneficiaries.

Winston Peters spotted a few of the Maori Party’s favoured forms of racism early this year (and for his troubles was denounced by the Maori Party, the greenies and the lefties).

Mr Peters, speaking at Ratana Pa, says his party would never support “separatist” Maori Party policies such as having separate Maori units in prison, the separate Maori social welfare system Whanau Ora and the Tino Rangatiratanga Flag.

Mr Peters says he could not work with the Maori Party as long as it keeps “separatist” policies.

“You can’t have a Crown that’s composed of two different groups – the rest and Maori. Either we’re all together or we’re all going to be separate,” he says.

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More folly from Tolley? Yep – she doesn’t care what we call the slammer where felons are locked up

June 15, 2014
The main thing to be mist should be life on the outside.

The main thing to be mist should be life on the outside.

We can be a colourless and soulless mob, at times, clearly lacking an appreciation of poetry and good language.

Correction. Some of us on occasions don’t appreciate the application of poetic language in palpably inappropriate circumstances.

“Correction” (as it happens) is the operative word in this post.

Alf’s attention has been drawn to this Herald on Sunday report, which kicks off:

A decision to name New Zealand’s biggest new private prison a place to “move out of the mist” is being called “potty” by justice campaigners.

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Yes, something needs lifting in our liquor laws – but it’s the drinking age, not the price of booze

April 26, 2014

One mob is hollering for the drinking age to be raised. Another is hollering for the price of booze to be raised. Alf unabashedly supports the age lifters.

As he posted a few years ago, when musing on our liquor legislation, he was chuffed to find scientists have discovered a possible reason for hoonish behaviour – it’s that people don’t become true adults until they’re 24.

That suggests the drinking age should be raised to 24. Alf would not be fussed if it went higher.

A new study comes into the picture today.

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If Anne Tolley wasn’t such a plod, her Labour counterpart might now be locked up

November 29, 2013
"Oh dear, I can't find the key."

“And then I will throw away the key.”

It’s disappointing to say this about a colleague, but Police Minister Anne Tolley being much too blinkered about shadow police minister Jacinda Ardern.

What’s more, she seriously lacks imagination.

As a consequence of her somewhat plodding approach to denying her Labour opponent access to the country’s cop shops, Ardern has gained media coverage by bleating about being “banned” from visiting police stations.

If Tolley had allowed the visits to proceed, members of the public would have no cause to wonder if the Minister is being much too authoritarian and Ardern hard done by.

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