Mana needs to hone its analytical skills – and it should be more wary of positive poll portents next time

"It's mum...she reckons we've got enough seats for me to be the Prime Minister."

A capacity for good political analysis seems to be lacking within the Mana Party.

The buggers are arguing the toss today about whether the election result was good or bad for them, after leader Hone Harawira reclaimed his Te Tai Tokerau seat, but the party failed to capture enough of the party vote to bring a second MP into Parliament.

Co-president Annette Sykes was in the latter group, saying she was “far from disappointed”.

Given that the party was formed only seven months before the election, 20,000 votes was a huge achievement.

Latest treaty report unwittingly raises a question: who will veto the misuse of the bagpipes?

Alf and his mates have been studying some stuff on the Treaty of Waitangi plucked off nzhistory.net.

We have given this material a very thorough read. The English stuff, anyway.

And we are buggered if we can find something that commits one bunch of signatories to work in a 50:50 partnership with the other bunch of signatories.

This being so we are driven to regard the latest stuff from the Waitangi Tribunal as another load of bollocks.

Our understanding of the 1000-page report is based on media accounts at this stage, let’s be clear, and it’s fair to suppose few of the hacks have ploughed through 1000 pages.

Moreover, the hacks (journalists ranked way down near the bottom of the recent trustworthiness poll) may have given us a bum steer by misinterpreting the bits they did read.

How a Noble spirit was flushed down the bog

Oh dear. Let’s all weep and wail for Oriwa Pehi-Livapulu, whose mana has been taken away and her son Noble’s spirit trampled on.

Yeah, right.

A mother is seeking legal advice after her 5-year-old son was made to clean toilets by a caregiver at Chipmunks as punishment for supposedly hitting a girl in the face with a ball.

Oriwa Pehi-Livapulu says her son Noble could have become sick and has complained to Child, Youth and Family, which funds the after-school care programme in Rotorua, known as Oscar.

“They could have made him collect the dishes off the table but he was not given that option. He doesn’t even clean the toilet at home, he’s only 5 years old. I draw the line at that. It’s a big no-no.

“My mana has been taken away from me. Noble’s spirit has been trampled on.”

The buggers should be banged up

Alf notes with fascination the career paths chosen by Hone Harawira’s stroppy relatives, the two Far North brothers who assaulted Prime Minister John Key outside a marae in February.

According to the NZPA report of proceedings in Kaikohe District Court, the pair assaulted Key “in a rush of blood” because of their concern over land being confiscated from Maori.

But Judge John McDonald told John Junior Popata, 33, a researcher, and Wikatana Popata, 19, an interviewer, that violence in any form was not an acceptable way of protest under New Zealand law and it was serious because of who they had targeted.

Get that? A “researcher” and “an interviewer”?

It’s almost the stuff of a Tui ad.

But let’s be generous and suppose they are highly competent at researching, interviewing, or whatever, when the blood is not rushing to their heads.

They still should have been banged up because – as the judge said – roughing up the PM is not an acceptable way of protest, and “serious” becaue of who they targeted. They needed time in the cooler to let their blood settle.