How many critical tweets does it take to extract an abject apology from a twit? Just ask Phil Twyford

December 5, 2014

Let’s chalk this one up as another wimpy Labour surrender to the forces of political correctness, if not feminism.

According to the NZ Herald, Phil Twyford has apologised on Twitter after Social Housing Minister Paula Bennett bailed him up as sexist for making a cat claw gesture at her in Parliament.

Alf must have had his head down in his heavy portfolio of paper work at the time, because he missed Twyford making the gesture to indicate Bennett was catty after some howz-yer-father about answers to his questions about housing.

Whatever happened during the exchange, it somehow finished up on Twitter.

The twittering Twyford – challenged about his cat claw gesture – was initially unrepentant, tweeting in response to one questioner that it was “entirely appropriate.”

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We’re in sad shape, Boss, when someone like Jacinda can have you saying sorry for your quips

November 12, 2014
...at least, not until my jokes fall flat.

…at least, not until my jokes fall flat.

Dunno why The Boss is apologising for making a joking referenceto convicted murderer Phillip John Smith fleeing the country.

But he is apologising, according to the Herald and other media.

As everybody in the Eketahuna Club seems to know, Smith was let out on temporary release from jail without anyone having the wit to think maybe he should be electronically monitored.

He did a bunk and flew to Chile using a passport obtained in his birth name.

And – so far as the best guess has it – he is now somehow in Brazil.

Sure, it hasn’t been much fun for the family of Smith’s victims. They have said they were fearful and some got police protection.

But there’s a funny side to it, if you have a wry sense of humour, including the increasing evidence that maybe Smith should be running the Corrections Department instead of the officials now in charge.

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So that’s who he is? He’s a bloke called Aaron Gilmore and he is awfully self-important

May 2, 2013
No, this is not Alf, who happens to be much older, wiser and considerably more modest.

No, this is not Alf, who is older, wiser and much more modest.

Well, at least one thing has been sorted out. Alf now knows the identity of the Nat (and nit) who sits just along from him on the back benches.

He learned it by checking out the newspapers on line today and encountering this picture alongside a fascinating report at Stuff (here).

Accordingly, if asked, Alf could come up with the right answer, should the aforementioned Nat (and nit) hand over his business card and demand “Don’t you know who I am? I’m an important politician”.

And why might he act in this thoroughly unparliamentary way?

Because of some unseemly goings-on in Hanmer alleged to have happened at the weekend.

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The sorry thing about Nick and the Pullar woman is that he won’t be sacked

March 21, 2012

"What else should I be saying sorry for?"

Just quietly, Alf has been struggling to suppress his urge to join the Labour tossers in demanding Nick Smith’s head.

They reckon he is not fit to lead the Government’s local government reforms and must be sacked.

This follows Nick doing something Alf would never do: he apologised.

The advice never to apologise was drummed into Alf by his dad.

Nick, obviously, was not blessed with such sound parental guidance.

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Today’s NZRU bosses have stuff to say sorry for, but 1928-60 tour decisions are not among them

April 5, 2010

Alf is seriously discomforted by the urge among modern-day malcontents to demand apologies for the mischief done to their ancestors.

Clamouring for such apologies is something he expects from Pita Sharples, our Minister of Maori Affairs, of course. Sharples is a chronic complainant about all sorts of things, particularly if a racist edge to whatever happened can be found.

Sure enough – Sharples is now wailing about the Rugby Union’s disinclination to apologise to former Maori players – and their families – for excluding them from past tours to South Africa on racial grounds.
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