Hone’s staffer is saying sorry – so what was it that should not have gone out in the email?

March 4, 2011

Nah, the contents are the same no matter how it is wrapped.

Alf likes to think he runs a very efficient office, although Mrs Grumble reckons actually it is she who does the running.

No matter. The reality is that no emails would ever be despatched without someone first reading it to ensure Alf’s enviable reputation would not be sullied by the contents or his association with them.

Things haven’t been running as sweetly in Hone Harawira’s office.

A mate of Alf, who knows someone who knows someone on Hone’s emailing list, has been the recipient of something that amounts to an apology.

This apology should be framed and kept for posterity, because apologies emerge from Hone’s office about as often as trains stop to drop off passengers at Eketahuna.

Mind you, the apology comes not from Hone but from Raewyn Harrison, his assistant (and a lovely lady, Alf hastens to add, notwithstanding her choice of boss).

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It’s no bad thing to say sorry sometimes, but the cops are faster to apprehend than apologise

March 2, 2011

"And if the complaints authority says we shouldn't have done this, we might consider an apology."

Sports broadcaster Tony Veitch shouldn’t hold his breath on the matter of the apology from the police that was suggested by The Independent Police Conduct Authority.

The authority last week said the cops should apologise to Veitch – or rather, consider apologising – after a file containing unsubstantiated claims relating to his 2008 assault on Kristin Dunne-Powell (his girl friend at the time) was released to media.

But the cops don’t do apologies.

Not in a hurry, anyway.

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The cops say sorry for using an insensitive expression – but who laid the complaint?

February 10, 2011

Alf has learned another lesson in how to be PC: he must not call people “half-caste”, no matter how appropriate that expression might seem.

The lesson this time comes from the cops, who are saying “oops, sorry” after being chided for calling a missing woman a half-caste.

It seems they issued a statement yesterday saying they held fears for the safety of a 48-year-old woman missing from Auckland’s Te Atatu since Saturday.

So far, so good.

But the police then used what turns out to be an indelicate, insensitive and otherwise objectionable expression.

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A challenge for florists: how do you say “bugger off, Chris Carter” in flowers?

June 16, 2010

It is a toss-up as to whose behaviour was more contemptible. Chris Carter’s, for doing his damndest to duck making an apology for his spending shenanigans, or the media larrikins for the way they pursued him through the corridors of Parliament.

The journalists’ unseemly pursuit of the hapless Carter, as Alf observed it on the telly last night, was rather like a sharks’ feeding frenzy.

Their behaviour was ugly.

Dammit, they were so intent on further breaking an obviously bewildered and shattered man that the effect was to have Alf feeling sorry for the bugger. Well, almost.

But Carter had committed the cardinal sin of refusing to take questions from them. They get huffy about that sort of thing.

He could learn a thing or two from Shane Jones, who has fronted the media consistently since the recent exposure of his inclination to watch pornographic movies in hotels, charge the taxpayer, then later repay.

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Salmon are in for a treat – four days of ceremonies, a rarely performed dance and an apology

March 22, 2010

Sorry to say, some salmon have finished up on Alf's dinner plate and are past caring about apologies.

Alf regrets he has a full diary and other commitments later this month, because he would dearly love to witness the delivery of an apology to some fish.

He especially would like to see how the fish respond once they have received the apology.

Radio NZ can take the credit for alerting Alf to this exercise in contrition.

It advised him that a group of Native Americans was on a spiritual pilgrimage to New Zealand.

Twenty-eight representatives of the Winnemem Wintu people from California plan to apologise to the Chinook salmon, known in New Zealand as quinnat, which they believe is descended from eggs taken from their rivers.

Alf is anxious to see how the language challenge is overcome. He fears the salmon might have been here for so long, maybe they won’t understand the words of apology.
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Hone should not say sorry for being candid

November 10, 2009

Having heard a heap of stuff about Hone Harawira and his vituperative e-mail to Buddy Mikaere, Alf reckons it would be daft for the Maori Party hell-raiser to apologise to the nation for comments he made about white people.

According to the NZ Herald, he will have something to say today about the row in which he has embroiled himself thanks to his flair for (a) troughing and (b) spewing racist bile.

It will be the first time the Te Tai Tokerau MP has publicly spoken about an email, criticised as racist, that he sent to a party supporter who had asked him who paid for a trip the MP and his wife made to Paris.

No other Maori Party MPs are expected to be present at Waipapa Marae in Auckland. However, Mr Harawira may be supported by high-ranking party leaders.

But Alf sees no point in Hone apologising for saying what he thinks of pakeha if – as seems pretty obvious – that’s what he does think of them. Or for using bad language if he thinks it’s good language or effective language.

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Keisha should be chuffed as Key yields the high ground

August 16, 2009

Bring back Rob Muldoon.

Yep. It sounds like a heresy.

But Rob would never have apologised to Whale Rider star Keisha Castle-Hughes – as John Key has done – for suggesting she “stick to acting” rather than debate climate change issues.

The only saving grace is that The Boss didn’t dive for the photo opportunity, as Alf previously had feared, by being pictured with the somewhat skinny lass.
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