Helen Clark maybe did us a favour by denying the Maori Council a chance to now head for London

February 27, 2013

So where can the Maori Council turn next in its vexatious efforts to nobble your hard-working government’s efforts to flog off a stake in Mighty River Power?


There was a time when their lawyers would be suggesting they head for London and the Privy Council.

But the Clark Government put an end to that in her ill-considered efforts to reduce this country’s links with the Mother Country, the Monarch and all that…

Maori voters – if they happen to sympathise with the Maori Council and fancied their chances before the law lords – should remember that, next time they go to the polls.

Read the rest of this entry »

Getting rid of 2.5 inches (from around the waist) could be magical for a bloke’s sexual prowess

August 2, 2012

Dunno if Gerry is losing his grip.

It took him a helluva long time to answer a question from Greenie Eugenie Sage yesterday – as you can see here.

It could be he is not so light on his political feet nowadays, because – well, to be frank, he is a bit portly.

And being a bit portly can create problems, such as hampering a feller’s performance in the sack, for example, even if he is a Minister of the Crown.

But let’s start by seeing how he tried to duck and weave in handling the Green’s question, then was gazzumped by Mr Speaker.

Read the rest of this entry »

Privatisation with a bonus – your Govt is working on some sweeteners (for those who need them)

June 20, 2012

The nation should be chuffed at the prospect of citizens being offered a bargain by their generous government.

Stuff (here) gives an account of what the deal might comprise.

Cheap share packets and bonus shares are being considered as the Government prepares its first sell-down of state-owned assets.

Stuff also says legislation for the sale of four energy companies was subject to fierce debate in Parliament yesterday, as it nears passage into law.

Dunno what a fierce debate is supposed to sound like.

A lot of futile hot air from the opposition, is how Alf would describe it.

Read the rest of this entry »

Migration musings and Greenie visions – is this evidence of a mind misted by magic mushrooms?

March 6, 2012

I think Australia is this way...

The Greens dished up a dollop of drivel about migration yesterday.

But you didn’t have to read too far before recognising it was drivel. The credibility of the Greenie musings was thoroughly undermined by the heading: National needs to stop driving people to Australia

This, of course, is bollocks.

National drives nobody to Australia.

First, anyone wanting to get there must go by air or sea.

And second, they must pay their own way (or find somebody to stump up the fare for them).

But then the Greens’ nonsense is explained – sort of – by a reference to visions.

Alf is seriously wary of people who claim to have had visions.

His wariness turns to a deep aversion when these people want others to share their visions.

Read the rest of this entry »

Pita and partnership: it boils down to approving Nat policy if Maori get preferential treatment

November 21, 2011

A thought crossed Alf’s mind, while he was sipping on his favourite tipple in the Eketahuna Club.

Why not ensure white people are given the first option when it comes to buying shares in state companies?

People of a different colour can get the left-overs.

Hmm. Any problem with that?

Actually, there is – a glaring one. It’s racist.

And racism, as we all know, can never be countenanced.

So what are we to make of Maori Party co-leader Pita Sharples’ thinking on asset sales?

Read the rest of this entry »

Bill English has been talking – very quietly – with iwi leaders about the state assets they should buy

August 19, 2011

Bill English in secret talks with Maori leaders?

It looks like this may be so.

A constituent in a state of high dudgeon contacted the member for Eketahuna North this morning to demand a halt to asset sales, whether partly or otherwise.

Obviously this bugger upright citizen with a contrary viewpoint is a socialist. How he has been allowed to settle in Alf’s part of our community is a mystery.

Anyway, what got him going was something he heard on Radio NZ (and if Radio NZ is going to get Alf’s constituents in a state of high dudgeon, the response should be to add it to the list of state assets to be privatised).

What the constituent heard had something to do with a bunch of iwi leaders getting together to pool their money (and they have a fair wallop of the stuff, despite the impression of poverty given by health, education, housing and and crime statistics).

Read the rest of this entry »

Keep it Kiwi campaign kicks off with cakes that – crikey, cobber – were first concocted in Toowomba!

September 30, 2010

If we can have these, Oz, we'll give you Russell Crowe (and throw in Russel Norman for good measure).

Alf should be sanguine enough to lose no sleep over the Greens, but he nevertheless despairs of the buggers and their publicity-seeking antics.

To be generous, he supposes their brains have become addled through a lack of nourishment resulting from an overdose of muesli, nuts and lettuce.

This – maybe – explains why Green Party Co-leader Russel Norman launched the Keep it Kiwi campaign by handing out Aussie cakes.

Yep. He was seen handing out lamingtons in front of a Kiwibank branch in Wellington, and if you asked what’s up, he would tell you it was to celebrate New Zealand ownership at a time when John Key’s Government plans to make asset sales an election issue in 2011.

Read the rest of this entry »