Cr Linda Cooper didn’t have to say sorry, surely, just for cutting a c**k down to size

February 23, 2015

Oh dear. A complaint of sizeism – by the look of it – has been lodged with the Auckland Council.

It has been prompted by  Councillor Linda Cooper calling some bloke a “judgmental little c**k” in a Facebook exchange of views about this weekend’s Pride Parade.

Actually, Alf strongly suspects the asterisks have been put into one of those four words because someone at Stuff doesn’t have the balls to stick to the word “cock”.  Or (come to think of it) maybe it was “cask”?

Whatever it was, the word “little” was obviously deeply troubling to someone. Cooper clearly ought to have described the bloke as a bloody big judgmental cock (or cask, or c**k) to escape a fuss.

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If hanging was appropriate for highwaymen such as Dick Turpin, what about the Auckland Council?

February 4, 2015


Tourists have been robbed in Nelson and Auckland in the past 24 hours or so.

Alas, the robbery in Nelson was accompanied by a bit of biffo.

But the greater haul – with the blessing of the city council – was taken by the plonkers who relieved travellers of their cash in Auckland.

Alf was given accounts of both incidents by NZ Herald.

In the Nelson incident, police are investigating after a German tourist was robbed early this morning.

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Willie claims more support than his rival but he goes to court – not the polls – to prove it

November 25, 2014
I'm more popular  than that Kake feller, and I'll sue if you disagree.

I’m more popular than that Kake feller, and I’ll sue if you disagree.

Far from Auckland, hunkered down in the Eketahuna Club, Alf’s mates couldn’t give a toss about whether broadcaster Willie Jackson should be sitting on Auckland’s  Independent Maori Statutory Board.

They do give a toss about process.

They observe that Willie took a legal route on his rocky passage towards a seat on the board, which provides advice to Auckland Council on Maori issues.

The High Court has ruled in his favour and found the board’s selection processes were flawed.

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Taxpayers’ Union has been discriminatory on perks – it forgets that some MPs (but not Alf) are “special”

October 23, 2014


The Taxpayers’ Union has been racially insensitive in taking a ping at the last-gasp spending of MPs who were headed for the political exit.

It has picked out two indigenous persons for special mention in a media statement, which is fair enough, at first blush, because indigenous persons are “special”.

But it has picked them out for critical mention.

This sadly overlooks the entitlement of our special persons to privileges that are not available to non-indigenous persons. These entitlements should include bigger dips into various public troughs than should be allowed for non-indigenous piggies.

Beyond that, Alf is discomforted whenever attention is drawn to MPs’ perks and spending of public money lest the media focus suddenly be turned on his spending, which would include lots of spending in the Eketahuna Club where Alf likes to treat his constituents, although some critics might not understand the need for him to treat voters who would never vote for anyone else but him.

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But consultation with iwi is good for you, Sir Bob – and they have ideas to improve your designs too

September 20, 2014


Aucklanders have long looked like a spineless bunch of tossers, more anxious to be politically correct than to stand up for their property rights against the outrageous demands of local authorities and the tangata whenua.

Or – and there is another way to look at this – Aucklanders recognise that some members of their community are special and should be allowed to dictate to them what they may and may not do.

These special citizens, of course, are the city’s indigenous persons who have increasingly been empowered to influence development decisions.

Auckland’s readiness to subject themselves to the demands of indigenous persons can be seen today in this report in the NZ Herald.

The article deals with an Auckland Council rule that requires building owners to seek iwi approval for work on their land.

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Sheep may roam over culturally sensitive land but athletes must not run there

June 7, 2014
Mind where you put your feet...

Mind where you put your feet…


The administrators of Auckland’s  public parks, sensitive to the sensitivities of indigenous persons, have cancelled a popular junior running race at a public park.

According to the NZ Herald,
the reason for the cancellation is that local iwi raised concerns about events on “sensitive land”.

It’s not the first time these sensitivities have constrained activities in the park.

An Auckland Council spokesman said the council was taking a consistent approach on the issue and three such running or orienteering events had been affected in the past three months.

The snag seems to be that this sort of activity involves people running over the land, presumably causing extreme cultural discomfort to the indigenous persons of the city, although sheep run across the same land,  even though they are not indigenous creatures and are not too fussy about where they pee and crap.

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What happens when public funds are earmarked for special people? Councils are pressed to spend it all

May 22, 2014

It might be thought that not spending ratepayers’ money would be welcomed as a good thing and there would be much rejoicing.

Auckland Council accordingly should be applauded for having managed to save much of the budget earmarked for certain purposes.

Nah. Not when one of those special purposes is positive discrimination (the PC way of talking about giving an ethnic group funding privileges).

Radio NZ says the council has managed to spend only a fraction of the budget earmarked for Maori initiatives. according to the board representing Maori in Auckland.

The board is one of those unelected outfits that now adorn our local government structures and governance arrangements.

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The Poms have got the right idea – they would run sheep in the streets of Auckland to trim the berms

November 6, 2013

The Auckland Council could well benefit from an idea being promoted by a ratepayers’ lobbying outfit in the UK.

The idea is to have cows and sheep cut the grass without the expense of petrol, mowing machines and workers to drive them.

Bloody sensible.

The council could make a few bucks from the meat, wool and milk for good measure.

Alf brings the matter to the attention of the Auckland Council, which voted to save $3 million by not cutting grass berms in the old Auckland City area from July.

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Ethnic people seeking more political clout will be finding they lack something important – a treaty

May 23, 2013

Ha! The ethnic communities that want a decision-making role within the Auckland Council look likely to learn fast that they are not “indigenous” and therefore they are not special.

Maori – on the other hand – are indigenous, they are special, and therefore they are accorded rights which are denied the rest of us.

They have special representation that allows unelected appointees to sit on Auckland Council committees, among other arrangements that debase our democratic arrangements.

Bugger all that election stuff. Too hard.

If you are special you can play the race card.

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A blockage in the Auckland Council’s email flow? Nah – it’s called case management

March 1, 2013

We’ve just got to to put this delicious item on our list of “daft things that local authorities do”.

In Auckland, there’s a fuss over claims that the council chief executive and senior staff have been intercepting citizens’ email messages to their elected representatives.

The matter is to be investigated.

But who will conduct the investigation?

Answer: the very people who are accused of blocking the emails.

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