Persistent Parker regurgitates his pap about Mexico despite being properly chided by Ambassador

April 24, 2012

But in this country you have to keep an eye on the rear end.

Dunno why the Mexicans bothered making a fuss over Labour MP David Parker’s warning that New Zealand risked turning into “Australia’s Mexico”.

The absurdity of the comparison was obvious to anyone with a reasonable share of brain cells.

For starters, Mexicans speak Spanish and use lots of maize in a diet that features tacos, enchiladas, mole sauce, atole, tamales, pozole and burritos. We Kiwis are fish and chips and meat-pie people, a diet complemented by steaks, oysters, mutton-birds, pork and puha and so on.

Mexicans fed on maize must be bursting to cross the border to get into some decent tucker, like Kentucky Fried and Big Macs.

Kiwis who go to Australia simply find the folks there are fish-and-chips and meat-pie people too, although they have turned the meat pie into something worthy of a banquet with a dish called the floater.

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Migration musings and Greenie visions – is this evidence of a mind misted by magic mushrooms?

March 6, 2012

I think Australia is this way...

The Greens dished up a dollop of drivel about migration yesterday.

But you didn’t have to read too far before recognising it was drivel. The credibility of the Greenie musings was thoroughly undermined by the heading: National needs to stop driving people to Australia

This, of course, is bollocks.

National drives nobody to Australia.

First, anyone wanting to get there must go by air or sea.

And second, they must pay their own way (or find somebody to stump up the fare for them).

But then the Greens’ nonsense is explained – sort of – by a reference to visions.

Alf is seriously wary of people who claim to have had visions.

His wariness turns to a deep aversion when these people want others to share their visions.

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Italian migrants are welcome – but here’s hoping we find jobs for them on dry land

January 26, 2012

They are not so clever when it comes to captaining cruise liners, apparently.

Alf was delighted to read that that New Zealand is proving a favoured place for European immigrants trying to escape the economic downturn.

This reflects well on the country: it’s a great place to live in, although not too many of the migrants have yet discovered that Eketahuna is the best part of the country to live in.

It also reflects well on the Government in which Alf is proud to serve: our economic management obviously is superior to that of the governments in the countries from which the migrants are coming.

Or rather, these migrants obviously believe we run a good shop.

But the Herald today published some dastardly stuff about costs of living increasing in New Zealand and wages not increasing to match, while Australians enjoy longer lives and lower unemployment.

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A new anthem for woofter Wallabies to warble – “In joyful strains then let us sing of Aussies full of fear”

April 15, 2010

Whoa there. Alf has been tempted on occasions – usually after the sad-sack Black Caps’ latest thrashing by the Aussies – to endorse the idea we become another state of Australia.

Without having to sober up, he has had that nonsense shaken out of his mind-set.

He now can see that Aussies are fast becoming a nation of woofters, and we have enough woofters of our own without having to join a nation of the buggers.

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The way is being paved for our doctors to examine the gizzards of Oz (and their other bits)

January 8, 2010

Kiwis are probably giving Health Minister Tony Ryall a big hurrah, on learning he will be talking to his Australian counterpart, Nicola Roxon, about her Government’s plans to make it easier for New Zealand doctors to work wherever they like in her country.

The doctor shortage being what it is, we can’t afford to have too many of the buggers taking off across the ditch to prod, poke and prescribe for patients there.

On the other hand, we can’t complain too much about the Aussies pinching our doctors when we are doing our damndest to pinch doctors from other countries, too.

According to the Herald, Ryall has been advised that the impact on the New Zealand medical workforce would be slight. But –

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England’s humiliation

June 6, 2009

It was a big day for Dutch cricket, when the Netherlands shocked the cricket world and left England on the verge of a humiliating first-round elimination at the World 20-20 opener at Lords.

The newspapers have been laying into England.

The Daily Express branded it “humiliation”, comparing England’s “most embarrassing defeat” in limited overs cricket to “a rocking horse winning the Grand National”.

“All the hope and expectation for a memorable summer was trashed by the men in orange, who could never have dreamed of coming to the headquarters of cricket and beating the hosts of the World Twenty20.”

“Clogs 1 Clots 0”, said The Sun.

The Dutch have done it before, however. Alf remembers when the Netherlands scored its first victory against a Test-playing nation, with a 3 wicket win over an Australian team back in 1964.

A Netherlands side beat an England A team including Test players Hussain, Alec Stewart and Derek Pringle in 1989, too.

But neither of those games, both played in the Netherlands, were full internationals.