Son of the Maori King appeared before a judge who takes booze and career prospects into account

July 4, 2014

If you can pitch a defence about how your career will be damaged, should you fall foul of the law, then try to arrange for Judge Philippa Cunningham to hear your case.

Appropriate expressions of remorse will go down well with her, too.

And she may well look kindly on you if she believes an addiction to booze or whatever has been your downfall and you are willing to be weaned off it.

We can only imagine what sentence she would have dished up had she handled the Rolf Harris case, because his career is over and a conviction will not bugger up his employment prospects.

But back in his younger days it’s reasonable to suppose he would have been given a break in Judge Cunningham’s court – provided he was remorseful, which he hasn’t been so far.

His name may well have been suppressed, too.

 

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Judge should have ordered child sex offender to see if he could get some laughs from prison inmates

September 6, 2011

They could do with a dose of laughter.

The outrage is mounting, after Judge Philippa Cunningham dealt bizarrely with a comedian who had pleaded guilty to a not-so-funny sexual offence against his infant daughter.

She let this fellow go free without conviction, partly because he “makes people laugh”.

He will still be making people laugh, because we don’t know who he is and therefore we can’t express our contempt for him by steering clear of his shows.

At sentencing in the Auckland District Court, Judge Philippa Cunningham said he had stopped drinking, paid a high price in his personal and work life, and had shown remorse.

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A waterboarding session wouldn’t go amiss

December 9, 2009

An early form of waterboarding was practised during The Flemish Inquisition

So what do you do with a brat who won ‘t get out of bed to go to school?

You can’t belt the bugger around the ears, nowadays. Not without the risk of your offspring rushing off to the cops to have you arrested, thanks to the bloody anti-smacking laws.

But all is not lost. Alf is delighted to read that a judge suggested a mother should throw a glass of water over her daughter next time she refuses to go to school.

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