We’ve sent our gunboat and caught fishing felons red-handed – now let’s sink them

Oops. Did Hitler give his approval?

Dunno why Royal New Zealand Navy officials have got to be so damned prissy.

According to the NZ Herald, last night they were seeking permission to board two fishing vessels in the Southern Ocean which have been found with illegal catches.

The offshore patrol vessel HMNZS Wellington has been monitoring the ships, Songhua and Kunlun, for close to a week and has captured video evidence of fishermen hauling in Antarctic toothfish – one of the most lucrative catches in the world.

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade said the vessels were using gill nets, which were banned in the strictly regulated fishery around Antarctica because they were considered damaging to the marine ecosystem.

So – a fair cop, by the sounds of it.

A bad omen as the Navy dries out – we haven’t won a naval battle since the rum ration went

The Brits won this with booze in their bellies…

It sounds like a right rum load of bollocks to Alf, but the New Zealand Navy is clamping down on its booze culture.

Rear Admiral Jack Steer is reported to have announced a slew of new alcohol rules for the service.

Ships, at sea and docked, will go dry and sailors won’t be able to splurge on duty-free booze, or cigarettes, when overseas.

And during working hours, no sailor will be allowed to drink alcohol without express permission.

Steer announced the changes yesterday in an “all despatch” post to the approximately 1900-strong force.

He sounds awfully like one of those bloody wowsers from the days of the temperance movement.

So what does the pugnacious Winston Peters have in common with the skipper of the Graf Spee?

The Graf Spee...it was sunk not by the enemy but by its captain.

Finding no news of worth in the Sunday papers today, Alf picked up a copy of a speech by Winston Peters to browse through while breakfasting.

It was optimistically titled The Road Back and was delivered to the NZ First Tauranga Electorate.

The road back to where, exactly, was not stated.

And nope. Peters did not deliver the speech in a telephone booth. He hired the St Johns Church Hall, but Alf does not know how many members of the party faithful turned up for the occasion.