If you have to fly with Gerry or Parekura, make sure you keep your distance for safety reasons

Oops – it looks like Gerry his shifted further to the right.

Dunno if your airline booking people would oblige if you asked for a seat far removed from fatties, like Parekura Horomia or Gerry Brownlee.

But you can be damned sure Alf will be asking for such a seat henceforth, all in the interests of safety. His safety.

Of course, this might mean (probably will mean) having to ask them to seat Alf some distance away from Mrs Grumble, when they travel together because she is on the plump side too.

Explaining to her why far-separated seats have been arranged will require great tact. Maintaining a warm and loving marriage relationship is important, but she is sure to understand if the reasoning is put to her carefully.

Alf’s urge to distance himself from fatties on airliners has been triggered by a warning from scientists that obese travellers would ‘blast through’ airplane seat belts in a crash.