Bill English stealthy? Maybe we should take away his megaphone to make his plans more open

The word “stealth” takes on new meaning in the lexicons of the lefties.

Listen to their leader, Andrew Little, for an example of how they use it:

Plans to offload state houses to social housing providers is “an asset sale by stealth,” the Labour Party says.

The deluded Andy is banging on about an expression of interest from an Australian company, Horizon Homes, to buy surplus state housing stock.

He is claiming the Government has given no reason why the houses should be sold offshore,

But having surplus stock and wanting to find a buyer seems reason enough if you are not too fussy about where the buyers live – so long as their money is good (which perhaps rules out the Greeks for now).

Grant Robertson goes future-gazing for dairy farmers (and is gloomy) while Our Bill fluffs his percentages

Look out for this during arguments about dairying..

It’s not too often Alf has to worry about his mate Bill English.

But he did wriggle somewhat uncomfortably today when it sounded suspiciously as if Bill was getting into the soothsaying business.

Labour’s Grant Robertson most certainly was doing it.

But Alf is not surprised to hear that lefties have been desperately poking sticks into chicken entrails or some such to try to read the future, then have emerged to proclaim that the future is looking grimmer than the Government is willing to acknowledge.

Iwi head wants some state houses on the cheap – but even better, he wants them given away

It sounded like Iwi Chairs Forum spokesman Haami Piripi wants the Government to transfer social housing stock to iwi for free.

Yep. He was reported to be expecting property in which taxpayers have invested heaps to be handed over to iwi for nothing – or if something must be paid, then the price should be of the bargain-basement variety.

His reasoning is set out in this report today:

Mr Piripi told The Nation at the weekend the market price for some state houses is zero because the “outcomes will far outweigh the cost”.

Alf must confess he is not sure what his means.

Maybe this explains things better:

“This is an investment in the population, an investment in families, an investment in housing, and in order to make an investment as a Government, you have to discount the price to make sure that that investment works, the formula that you put in place works,” Mr Piripi said.

Nope.

Alf is none the wiser.

Labour did a U-turn on a capital gains tax so it could take pot-shots when we Nats changed direction

Alf has confessed to his drinking mates that maybe he wasn’t paying attention, when capital gains taxes were last discussed by our caucus.

He has a strong recollection of scoffing at Labour’s capital tax proposals during the election campaign last year and he was hugely amused when the lefties decided this policy had been a mistake.

He also recalls the strongly expressed rejection of a capital gains tax from Bill English (our splendid Minister of Finanace, if you aren’t acquainted with his importance to our economic well-being).

Not too long ago he was disputing an OECD report which said the growing gap between rich and poor in New Zealand is leading to lower overall economic growth.

A report from the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development said the countries with the biggest increases in income gaps over recent years are New Zealand, Finland, Israel, Sweden and the United States.

Don’t tell the Whips, but here’s one Nat who has a sneaking inclination to go AWOL on Whanau Ora

Alf is desperately looking forward to getting out of here today – the damned debating chamber – to take refuge in the Pickwick’s Bar.

For the past hour or so MPs have been banging away about the pros and cons of Whanau Ora.

Alas a highly discomforted Alf finds himself on the side of the defenders of the programme, notwithstanding the report on it from the Office of the Auditor-General.

He has had to smile approvingly while our MPs laud the role of “navigators” in our social welfare system.

Navigators?

Dunno which misguided plonker took these creatures out of the transport industry and introduced them to the Whanau Ora scheme.

The navigators perhaps should be called on to explain why so much money has – dare Alf say it – failed to reach its intended goal?

Pay rises and perks – some MPs say they don’t deserve them but here’s betting few give them back

You can be sure the Dom-Post mob didn’t bother chatting with Alf.

The tossers are saying MPs are reluctant to accept an $8200 pay rise and are calling for the system that rewards them to be overhauled.

You can put your money on Alf not being among those breast-beating plonkers.

Come to think of it, you have put your money on Alf because you have been paying his salary every since he was first elected.

And now you will be putting a bit more into his pocket after the Remuneration Authority published its determination which hikes a back-bencher’s salary by 5.4 per cent to $156,000 a year.

Stuart Nash is riled by shortfall in the tax take – but there’s a shortfall in his statement, too

“We’re not missing a million somethings here, are we?”

Stuart Nash’s grand-dad was Walter Nash, who served as the country’s 27th Prime Minister in the Second Labour Government from 1957 to 1960.

Walter is credited with being highly influential, too, in his role as Minister of Finance in the First Labour Government.

But the Nash financial genes seems to have been watered down before reaching Stuart.

Or maybe he was a bit lax when he authorised the release of a press statement aimed at throwing borax at we Nats.

Nth Korea’s leader can show us what should be done to those who favour changing our national flag

A warning to flag tinkerers…

Alf has revised his view of the North Korean despot, Kim Jong Un, a bloke he had been apt to dismiss as mad as well as tyrannical.

No longer.

A fierce and highly admirable patriotic streak that Alf admires became evident today. 

The young  bugger is reported to have ordered one of his top military officials be dragged from his home and shot by firing squad for…

For bloody good reasons, in this case.

The top military official had changed the words of a socialist anthem when singing karaoke.

Crusher has been thrown (or thrown herself) to the wolves – but the wolves should beware

Kevin Skinner gave us a lesson in the useful application of a bit of biffo.

Alf and his true-blue mates were dismayed by news of Crusher’s resignation as a Minister.

Fair to say, Alf’s dismay was tempered by the realisation – “hope” might be a better word – that this may well mean The Boss promotes him to the ministerial job that has been his ambition for some time.

But for now, those ambitions are being kept very private and for public purposes – well, the Member for Eketahuna North is declaring that he is devastated.

He is also highly disapproving of Labour’s leaping in to exploit Crusher’s plight.

Of course, that’s what one would expect from a bunch of lefties and greenies whose political aspirations far exceed their collective talents.

Hence they are apt to be desperate.

Bugger the surplus – Fred and Mabel want to know what’s in the Budget for them

Dunno what they are making of the surplus in the Eketahuna Club tonight. Alas, Alf is stuck in Wellington so won’t be able to check on how it went down with his mates.

He happened to be among the Nats who applauded enthusiastically when our splendidly capable Minister of Finance got to that bit – the surplus – fairly early on in the speech.

To be frank, it’s a tiddler as surpluses go.

But Alf suspects they don’t actually give a toss what’s on the bottom line, back home in the club. It’s all fiscal flim-flam, Alf’s mate Fred is apt to scoff. What Fred wants to know is how much will he be taxed and what will he and his family get back for the hard-earned dosh the tax gatherer takes off them.