The Black Caps have a choice: learn from Bob Blair or pull up stumps and come back home

February 28, 2011

The 1953–54 New Zealand cricket team in South Africa. R.W. (Bob) Blair is the last player on the right in the second row. Bert Sutcliffe is third from the right, sitting down.

No disrespect to Alan Donald.

But maybe we sent the wrong bloke to the Cricket World Cup to coach our bowlers.

We should have sent Bob Blair.

The tossers who ponce beneath the title “Black Caps” doubtless are learning much from Donald’s coaching.

Actually, they probably could learn much from the coaching skills of Alf’s seven-year-old grand-daughter, who performed admirably as a bowler (albeit under-arm) in a match at the beach at the weekend.

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A new anthem for woofter Wallabies to warble – “In joyful strains then let us sing of Aussies full of fear”

April 15, 2010

Whoa there. Alf has been tempted on occasions – usually after the sad-sack Black Caps’ latest thrashing by the Aussies – to endorse the idea we become another state of Australia.

Without having to sober up, he has had that nonsense shaken out of his mind-set.

He now can see that Aussies are fast becoming a nation of woofters, and we have enough woofters of our own without having to join a nation of the buggers.

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Three strikes and Alf’s down

June 14, 2009

Alf admits to being a bit of a grouch first thing most mornings, until he’s had his first shot of caffeine. But he was dispirited more than usual this morning as Radio NZ reminded him of what had happened last night.

First, National colleague Melissa Lee finished well behind Labour’s David Shearer who won the Mt Albert by-election (but she did keep the bloody Greens from being able to brag about ousting the Nats from second place).

With all the votes counted, Shearer had 62 percent, Melissa Lee trailed with 17 percent and the Greens Russel Norman had 12 percent

Second, the All Blacks were done by the French at Carisbrook.

Third, the Black Caps were trounced by Pakistan at the 20-over cricket tournament.

But fair to say, Alf lost money only on the All Blacks.

He placed no bets on Labour winning the by-election, but he did put money on Melissa holding that Russel-with-just-one-l bloke at bay and on Shearer getting a smaller majority than Helen Clark in 2008.

Oh, and he put his money on Pakistan for the cricket.
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