Bread and circuses are prescribed to pacify the mob but an entertainment centre should do the trick

May 27, 2011

And if we run out of elephants, we could teach Gerry to sit up like this.

Alf is anticipating a bit of a hullabaloo from a raft of community groups that need weaning off government handouts.

The buggers are complaining today about the Government’s cutting $1.5 million from the Community Organisations Grants Scheme and giving it to four areas of its choosing.

Just imagine their chagrin when they find out about the $650,000 for rugby parties the Government is handing out in Christchurch.

More specifically, according to the Ministerial statement, the dosh is for a new temporary entertainment and performance events village to be set up in North Hagley Park.

The money will be ladelled from the Major Events Development Fund, according to the announcement today from Canterbury Earthquake Recovery Minister Gerry Brownlee and Acting Economic Development Minister David Carter.

This is bloody good politics.

Christchurch needs cheering up after being constantly shaken up, and the poor buggers will be missing out on the Rugby World Cup matches that had been scheduled for their city before the earthquakes scuttled those plans.

The community workers who are being starved of funds are bleeding hearts who probably vote Labour.

Read the rest of this entry »


Anderton will be chuffed – he has been promised the vote of a Mongrel Mob member

September 13, 2010

Christchurch citizens might be rocked by the time it took Jim Anderton to come to a sensible decision, but Alf is by no means surprised.

Let’s face it – Jim has been a national superannuitant for a few years now and for age reasons can be excused if he’s slowing down, although this expression of understanding by no means should be interpreted as a sign that Alf would vote for the bugger.

The important thing for the purposes of this post is that Jim has finally done it and announced he will resign his Wigram seat in Parliament if he wins next month’s mayoral election.

Read the rest of this entry »


A mayoress with a fondness for muffins raises good questions about mean-spirited critics

July 29, 2010

Let’s hear it for the Mayoress of Christchurch, Jo Nicholls-Parker, who is insisting it is “perfectly legit to take some perks” such as coffee and muffins because she works fulltime for the city for free.

Mind you, Alf wonders how much coffee and how many muffins have been consumed by Jo then put on the mayoral tab.

His curiosity is all in the interests of accountability, which he zealously champions, and to satisfy his deep interest in the cost of living.

Jo has responded to criticism of her role after the nosy news media published stuff about her sitting in on breakfast meetings with her husband, Mayor Bob Parker, and spending ratepayer money on muffins and coffees.

According to Stuff:

The couple later paid back more than $600.

This leaves Alf curious about the number of muffins and cups of coffee one can consume for that money.

But he agrees with Jo when she says some people have shown “mean-spiritness”, although she had generally been well-treated as mayoress.

Read the rest of this entry »


Trouble with rubble – a tale of silly burghers in Christchurch getting sillier

January 6, 2010

Alf is given further evidence today of Christchurch being a place to visit, maybe, but not to live.

Not only does the sad city have a mayor who applauds the demolition of property because demon-fearing citizens yet to emerge from the Dark Ages are spooked by it.

It also has bureaucrats who expect a bloke banged up in jail for murder to come and clear up the mess.

Alf would have thought this was the stuff of hilarious fantasy, but it is earnestly reported at Stuff as news.

Read the rest of this entry »


It’s progress of sorts – we no longer burn witches but set fire to buildings that spook us instead

January 4, 2010

Here’s hoping the cops catch the bugger who is burning down schools in the Wellington area.

But if he is smart he will shoot through to Christchurch, a city peopled by oddballs and led by a mayor who has welcomed the demolition of a property persistently attacked by arsonists.

It’s a city, too, where the cops have sadly failed to catch those responsible for the fires.

Read the rest of this entry »


Just a bit more homicide in the Garden City

September 13, 2009

(as dictated to Mrs Grumble)

Alf demands to know when the Sunday rags will stop being so virginally precious about a bit of murder.

A typical example is the Sunday Star-Times headline ‘House of Horrors’ shocks country.

So who determined that the country has been shocked, and how exactly did they measure the shock?

No-one bothered to ask Alf, who was far from shocked.
Read the rest of this entry »