Ministry’s grim report on the quality of drinking water should turn us towards health-enhancing liquor

October 27, 2010

Ducks crap in it and fish fornicate in it.

Alf is delighted that a Ministry of Health survey upholds the prudence of his practice of drinking nothing that has not been (a) boiled or (b) bottled as booze.

His liquid intake essentially comes from lots of coffee and plenty of good liquor.

He has aired the health benefits of booze in a previous post.

Today he is pleased to pass on the gist of a report which gives umpteen good reasons for steering clear of water as a thirst quencher.

We just don’t know where it has been.

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Jim Anderton treated like a rock star? Which rock star was the reporter thinking about?

October 11, 2010

Mick Jagger ... a bit past his prime now, but he can pull a crowd of much more than a hundred or so.


Well, bugger me, Alf muttered on learning that Jim Anderton was treated like a rock star when he addressed his campaign supporters on Saturday night after being defeated for the Christchurch mayoralty.

A rock star on the way down, no longer pulling the crowds as he did in his prime, one is tempted to observe.

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Stepping up the war on boy racers

December 10, 2009

An organic car crusher - or how to win Green Party support for our policies to get rid of boy racers.

Some heartening numbers emerged in the House yesterday, after party colleague Nicky Wagner asked Police Minister Crusher Collins about recent steps taken to protect New Zealand communities from the dangerous behaviour of boy racers.

Crusher – of course – could say that on 1 December two new street racing laws came into effect.

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Tararua’s $13m drinking problem

March 26, 2009

Gotta give it to Tararua Mayor Maureen Reynolds for optimism.

She says (according to the Manawatu Standard) it will be impossible to come up with the dosh needed to improve her district’s drinking water – a matter of more than $13 million – without help from the Government.

Doesn’t she know we are lopping public spending, or trying to, because of the widening budget deficit and Standard and Poors putting us on credit watch and all that fiscal stuff?
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Parliamentary Hide and seek

March 25, 2009

Ask Rodney Hide a Parliamentary question with an infuriatingly obvious answer, and there’s a fair chance you’ll be given the infuriatingly obvious answer.

That exactly what Labour’s Brendon Burns was given when he asked Local Government Minister Rodney Hide:
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A great gush about water

March 23, 2009

Dunno if Alf’s previous posting did the prompting, but Brendon Burns burst into life with another press release early this afternoon.

It was too late for World Water Day, which expired at midnight, but it was all about water and water quality.

Burns told us drinking water standards are being reviewed by the Government and he said one in five New Zealanders are drinking ‘‘at risk” water. This happily excludes Alf, because he stopped drinking the stuff when he observed fish fucking in it.
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Brendon Burns – all the news that’s fit to print

March 23, 2009

You’d think a bloody journalist could keep his blog up to date. Or maybe Brendon Burns can’t find much news that’s fit to print on his side of the House.

Burns became a Labour member of Parliament last year after a career including 12 years in the Parliamentary Press Gallery (much of it for The Press) and editorship of The Marlborough Express for seven years.

With credentials like that, it should be reasonably easy to maintain a blog.

But obviously not if you (a) want it to be readable while (b) using it to push the party line.
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