Royal bathroom job: Alf could turn the taps but the cleaning side calls for a sheila’s touch

February 13, 2012

Which one is the bathroom?

It looked, at first blush, as if the Daily Mail was pulling Alf’s chain. It drew his attention to a job that took his fancy .

But he (or rather, Mrs Grumble) didn’t immediately find it on the website mentioned by the newspaper. Not without a bit of searching.

She persevered and found the details here.

Alf remains tempted although it is a somewhat menial job and doesn’t pay much.

Nor does it seem to offer the same perks and allowances enjoyed by our members of Parliament for their hard work on behalf of their electorates and to serve the nation.

On the plus side it would result in Alf working for a couple for whom he has huge admiration.

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Good grief – the Palace could become Buckingham Hotel if Charles becomes King

October 24, 2011

The good news about Andrew Marr, a British broadcaster, is that he has abandoned republicanism after spending two years following the Queen across Britain and on several trips abroad.

Nope – not because he was impressed by her budget-trimming approach to the celebrating of her diamond jubilee next year (more of which later in this post).

Alf has just read of Marr saying his time spent with the ‘shrewd, wise and kind’ Queen has helped to transform him from a republican to a monarchist.

The not so good news is his disclosure of Prince Charles’s secret plan to ‘move out of Buckingham Palace and turn it into a museum’ once he becomes King

Or is a hotel on his agenda?

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Hurrah for the royals – it will take much more than a cowardly assault on their Rolls to rattle them

December 12, 2010

"I think we should take a cab and a different route next time."

There's plenty of room in here for the bloody rioters.

Well done that man, Alf says of Prince Charles.

He and his wife Camilla will not be scaling back their public engagements or abandoning walkabouts.

The Rolls-Royce carrying them were attacked during violent protests against higher university fees.

Every member of that baying mob – of course – should be rounded up and flung into the Tower of London, which would swiftly and simply take care of their fees complaints. Their study days will be over.

What the rabble did surely amounts to high treason.

It certainly would have been high treason in the good old days before the democracy caper gained too much currency.

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A right royal lesson in coping with recession

June 15, 2009

Alf – a great admirer of royalty and the royals – today salutes his Queen for setting an example on how to lower the household bills in tough times.

In The Herald today, he found this inspiring news from the Observer.

As a 14-year-old, she picked up a spade and joined the rest of wartime Britain in the Dig for Victory campaign. Seven decades later, though no longer wielding the spade herself, the Queen, now 83, has again embraced the “grow your own” movement.

For the first time since the war, fruit and vegetables are to be found in an allotment-sized plot in the gardens of Buckingham Palace.
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