Comparing Crusher with Diana is rather like comparing a grizzly bear with a pussy cat

September 8, 2014
And the resemblance to Crusher is ... what, exactly?

And the resemblance to Crusher is … what, exactly?

If Alf was Judith Collins, he wouldn’t be thanking his older sister for likening the embattled MP to Princess Diana.

Not today, at least, because today readers of British newspapers are learning some discomforting things about the mother to our future king (all going well and assuming).

Hamilton’s Pamela Cassidy is the big sister with a big mouth.

According to the Waikato Times,
she says both Crusher and Diana were both “hounded” by media.

Cassidy, who grew up on the family farm near Morrinsville with Collins, called the Waikato Times to express her anger at how her sister has been treated by her political opponents and the media – going as far as saying Collins was being tormented in the same manner as Princess Diana, shortly before her death.

“I have had people tell me: ‘What the media have done to your sister was exactly the same as what they did to Princess Diana’. I thought about that and it is completely true. It is exactly like that. They are hounding her.

“She is human and the family have to wear it too. People have feelings – or they should have.”

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A remarkable skill: Peter Dunne doesn’t have to read a book to measure its muck content

September 2, 2014


Gotta say there’s nothing quite as satisfying as pitching an election message to a bunch of well-heeled old farts.

They will even give a big cheer to the likes of Peter Dunne if he says the right thing.

Peter struck the right note in his home patch of Ohariu when he was questioned about Nicky Hager’s Dirty Politics and about the ethics and integrity of politics.

According to this report at Stuff,

…the UnitedFuture leader said he would not read it and labelled it “muckraking”.

It was a sentiment that drew the biggest cheer from the 150-strong crowd at Johnsonville’s Malvina Major Retirement Village yesterday, the large majority of whom were residents.

That’s the right way – and the right-wing way, hurrah – to deal with trash dressed up as a literary revellation.

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Crusher can’t keep herself out of the limelight these days – now the issue is lane names

August 20, 2014

Alf means no offence to the late Sir Robert Chambers.

And I never imagined naming a lane would land me in the stew.  finish up in

And I never imagined naming a lane would land me in another stew.

But if Crusher Collins is going to set about naming lanes after her friends – well, what’s wrong with Grumble Lane?

Or Slater Lane?

No, wait.

Cameron has been a tad disparaging of the good people of Christchurch, according to this report (which likely is a load of bollocks):

South Islanders are useless and East Christchurch earthquake victims scum, controversial blogger Cameron Slater allegedly says in emails disclosed by Dirty Politics author Nicky Hager.

Writing to his friend Peter Smith (not his real name) after the February earthquake, Slater says: “The place is f****d, they should should just board it up and close it down.”

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Oops – maybe there has been an awful misunderstanding about cultivating Cam’s friendship

August 19, 2014
Keep an eye out for an account of saucy goings-on here at Labour Party HQ in Eketahuna North.

Keep an eye out for an account of saucy goings-on here at Labour Party HQ in Eketahuna North.

Gotta admit to feeling somewhat uneasy about leaking further bits of this and that to Whaleoil.

Until now Alf had understood he was doing the party a big favour by passing on anything that might show up pinkies, greenies and their ilk in a bad light.

What’s more the encouragement of Jason Ede had given Alf the strong impression this sort of thing was good for scoring personal brownie points – and enhancing one’s political ambitions – up there on the Ninth Floor of The Beehive.

Ede should need no introducing. His name has been peppered into umpteen news reports in recent days (whereas Alf, dammit, hasn’t been mentioned once).

But maybe his encouragement was misunderstood.

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To avoid hacking Alf flies his sensitive stuff to Cam (although pigeons can be shot down and eaten)

August 18, 2014
Alf slips away from his office (with head protection against leftie mud-slinging) to send a message to Cam.

Alf slips away from his office (with head protection against leftie mud-slinging) to send a message to Cam.

Sad to say, Alf has not been burgled in the past six years and -so far as he is aware – his laptop has not been accessed.

Hence he can not add his experience to the list of dirty tricks that has been lengthening day by day over the past week.

Among the victims – according to this newspaper report – has been Crusher’s hubby.

Judith Collins’ husband David Wong-Tung’s office was burgled and his laptop accessed, in what the Justice Minister says was “a series of interesting little break ins”, including the burglary of her caucus colleague Mark Mitchell’s offices.

This afternoon, following reports of break ins at Mr Mitchell’s Parliamentary and electorate offices almost a year ago, Ms Collins told the Herald her husband’s office had been burgled six weeks ago.

Mr Wong-Tung is a director of Oravida , the company belonging to National Party donor Deyi Shi whose meetings with Ms Collins late last year in China – when she was there on a taxpayer funded ministerial trip – sparked a conflict of interest furore.

“He came into work and noticed that the lock on his lockable cabinet had been smashed.”

So what were the burglars up to?

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Cam is getting a whale of unwanted publicity while Alf is damn near blubbering about being forgotten

August 14, 2014
So who was the MP caught by surprise when this thing exploded?

So who was the MP caught by surprise when this thing exploded?

Must admit to being more than somewhat miffed today.

Lots of muck is being flung about leaked emails and political dirty tricks and what-have-you.

But dammit, Alf’s name has not been mentioned once in despatches. At least, not so far as he is aware.

This reinforces the strong suspicion he has long harboured about the news media having a snitch against him.

What does he have to do to be sneaked into a story, let alone to make it into a headline? Tell racist jokes? Promote the family business while on a taxpayer-funded visit to some foreign land (the firm is Grumble Gewgaws, if you must know)? Be caught by the cops in a compromising position in the gents?

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Ah – now we know (and so does Len Brown) what happens when a mistress’s world falls apart

October 17, 2013

Gotta say it’s fascinating to learn what impulses kick in, when you lose an election.

This has never happened to your hard-working member for Eketahuna North, of course. It is a measure of his popularity and the voting public’s huge regard for him that he has galloped home by the proverbial country mile every time his name has been on a ballot paper.

The Labour sheila who stood against him at the last election perhaps had no expectation of winning. Hence her world did not fall apart when the inevitable happened and she was soundly defeated.

Not so in the case of the sheila at the centre of the Len Brown sex scandal.

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If they can’t keep their supporters’ names under wraps, what makes them fit to run the country?

June 14, 2011

"Before computerisation our files were kept safe and secure here at party headquarters."

The tossers at the Labour Party – having failed to properly preserve the privacy of their supporters and donors – have come up with a superb example of perverse crisis management.

They are bleating to the privacy commissioner about lists of supporters and donors falling into the hands of The Whale.

Does a whale have hands?

Dunno, but…

Details of 18,000 people were on the databases downloaded by blogger Cameron Slater, severely embarrassing Labour, which had to email donors and people who had contacted it through its website to apologise for the breach.

Slater has revealed on his blog how he obtained the databases, which appear to have been publicly available and easy to download without needing to hack into the site.

Get that?

No hacking, he says.

He just tapped into Labour’s databases.

And there it was. Lots of names and other interesting stuff.

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Labour on the defensive: we can expect more denials and a disinclination to comment

June 12, 2011

And we can expect the hole to get deeper after the next load of disclosures.

Alf gets a big buzz when he sees the Labour Party feverishly digging itself into a hole as an instinctive response to the prospect of political embarrassment.

Declining to comment helps to fuel the party excavator.

Lo and behold, Labour Party president Moira Coatsworth is quoted by the HoS as saying she could not discuss the issue of some stuff leaked to or otherwise obtained by The Whale until she had spoken to party secretary Chris Flatt

… then later refused to comment.

Australian Labor Party activist Sandy Rippingale, asked if she was working with our Labour Party on election campaigning, said:

“I can’t make comment on the relationship between the two Labour (Labor) parties.”

Denial helps to drive the machine.

Labour MP Darien Fen­ton is reported to have denied the party used Par­lia­men­tary Ser­vices to fund cam­paign or party business.

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