If you must be doused in iced water to raise funds, take a tip from the Cancer Society and avoid liquor

July 12, 2014

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The headline atop a Stuff report today is bound to cause some dismay among Alf’s mates at the Eketahuna Club. It says:

Don’t mix drink and ice water: charity

Some people regard ice and/or water as an important component of their tot (or two) of whisky and other spirits.

Advice on the acceptability and benefits of of this can be found here.

As it turns out, the headline doesn’t quite tell us the full story.

Nor does it focus on an aspect of the story that should be causing some disquiet among our law-and-order authorities – the burial of a bloke before coronial officials could be sure of why he died.

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Getting cancer is bad enough but it’s worse if you happen to live in the central North Island

January 3, 2011

So my advice to you, young man, is to persuade your parents to stay here in Zimbabwe and not emigrate to Palmerston North.

Alf is braced for a hard time, next time he turns up at the Eketahuna Club.

He has been badly let down by his colleague, Tony Ryall, our Minister of Health.

Ryall declined to be questioned on Radio NZ’s Summer Report this morning about a shortage of oncologists and the axing of chemotherapy for some patients by the central North Island cancer treatment service.

Under the new rules, MidCentral District Health Board no longer will accept referrals for patients who are less likely to benefit from the treatments.

Less likely to benefit?

Who will make this life-or-death decision?

Oh, yes. Doctors.

This is deeply disturbing.

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Let’s just snort at this slice of ham advice

August 23, 2009

The pork industry is under attack again, this time from smart-arsed experts who say ham and bacon in school lunches is a no-no.

Cancer researchers have warned that parents should not give their children ham sandwiches as processed meat – including salami, ham, bacon and pastrami – can increase the risk of bowel cancer in later life.

An outfit called The World Cancer Research Fund International (WCRFI) has sounded the warning about the dangers of giving children processed meat.

But it’s cheering to hear at least one local expert recommend we take the research with a grain of salt.

Dr Jan Pearson, Health Promotion Manager for the Cancer Society, said the WCRFI study had come out of the United Kingdom where access to healthy fresh foods may be more restricted than in New Zealand.

“It falls back on the poor parents to try and provide a range of food.”

Good advice.

Alf can come up with statistics showing that by sending kids to school, you increase the prospect of the little buggers being run over and killed in a road accident.

From which we should conclude we should not send them to school, but keep them at home.

Yeah, it’s absurd.