Martin Devlin won kudos for outing himself – but he has lost brownie points for slandering plums

His footwork wasn't so fancy on Auckland's Quay Street...

...and why should he imagine this could be done for disorderly conduct?

A Martin Devlin, sports broadcaster, turns out to be “the celebrity” who was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct in Auckland a week or so back, but whose name has been kept secret until now.

His lawyer asked yesterday that the suppression order be lifted.

The Auckland District Court obliged and the news media rushed to put the name up in lights.

Devlin says he sought name suppression to protect his children from embarrassment.

But doing so only made things worse, he admitted yesterday.

“I sought name suppression in an effort to try and protect my children from being identified and embarrassed by my behaviour,” he said in a statement to media.

Good for him for outing himself. An army of 46-year-old celebrities and blokes who think they are celebrities will be relieved they are no longer suspects.

How Joanna Sihamu has made life hell for all male celebrities aged somewhere near 46

If it isn't Simon or John or Mike it must be...

Alf has huge sympathy for fellow celebrities whose names are being bandied by the public as speculation mounts over the identity of a 46-year-old household name arrested in Auckland.

Thanks to the misguided ruling of a namby-pamby magistrate, the media must not disclose the identity of a bloke who was arrested in Auckland’s Quay St on Wednesday and appeared in court on Thursday charged with disorderly conduct.

That decision has been regurgitated today by the Sunday Star-Times in a report that proceeds to narrow the range of possibilities by ruling out a few names.

He’s a Kiwi for now – but if he behaves like Russell Crowe will we want to keep him?

Alf has always been fascinated by the way our news media will turn anyone into a Kiwi, if there is the slightest evidence they breathed the air for a while Down Under.

In the latest case, the poor bugger for a while was obliged to breath the smoggy air of Christchurch, something that is bound to have dire consequences for his health in the longer term and to adversely affect his behaviour. .

And so today we find a headline that reads Kiwi actor fights for life in US hospital.

Actually, he is just 14 years old and hence is still a sprat.

And as it turns out, having survived the ordeal of being raised in Christchurch, he is struggling for life in the USA: