Crusher can’t keep herself out of the limelight these days – now the issue is lane names

August 20, 2014

Alf means no offence to the late Sir Robert Chambers.

And I never imagined naming a lane would land me in the stew.  finish up in

And I never imagined naming a lane would land me in another stew.

But if Crusher Collins is going to set about naming lanes after her friends – well, what’s wrong with Grumble Lane?

Or Slater Lane?

No, wait.

Cameron has been a tad disparaging of the good people of Christchurch, according to this report (which likely is a load of bollocks):

South Islanders are useless and East Christchurch earthquake victims scum, controversial blogger Cameron Slater allegedly says in emails disclosed by Dirty Politics author Nicky Hager.

Writing to his friend Peter Smith (not his real name) after the February earthquake, Slater says: “The place is f****d, they should should just board it up and close it down.”

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The Christchurch earthquake: David Farrar has summed things up sadly but succinctly

February 22, 2011

The death toll is now thought to be around 65. Words are inadequate.

That’s how David Farrar summed up his record of today’s tragic events in and around Christchurch earlier this evening.

DF is in Australia. But he has been keeping an eye on the day’s events on telly and Alf does not intend to try to add to his succinct summation of what has happened.

Finance Minister Bill English has just said at a press conference in Wellington that the death toll is likely to rise. He is urging people to get out of the severely shaken city’s central business district.

Unknown numbers of people remain trapped in rubble.

It is a sad day for the city and for the country.

More reasons to steer clear of Christchurch: there’s a risk you will encounter a trike-riding lunatic

January 19, 2011

And if we catch you speeding, young man, we can take your trike to the crusher.

Uh, oh. More evidence has reached Alf of Christchurch people being a seriously below-average lot.

He hears of the cops worrying about the young folk in the shaky city careering through the suburbs on stunt tricycles at more than 100kmh.

The police say these young folk are putting lives at risk, which is obvious to anyone with even just a few brain cells to rub together.

Alf would not be too fussed if the lives put at risk were only those of the thrill-seekers. This would qualify them – if they do us a favour and get wiped out – for Darwin Awards.

Trouble is, the victims may well finish up being innocent people.

The Darwin Awards, of course, salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally remove themselves from it.

Among the recipients last year were the couple who parked their car on a busy freeway in heavy fog for a quick shag.

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It’s progress of sorts – we no longer burn witches but set fire to buildings that spook us instead

January 4, 2010

Here’s hoping the cops catch the bugger who is burning down schools in the Wellington area.

But if he is smart he will shoot through to Christchurch, a city peopled by oddballs and led by a mayor who has welcomed the demolition of a property persistently attacked by arsonists.

It’s a city, too, where the cops have sadly failed to catch those responsible for the fires.

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