Changes to royal rules of succession would be a step much too far in favour of bloody women’s libbers

Well bugger me, Alf spluttered on hearing of changes afoot for the monarchy. It looks like another serious setback for blokedom.

Under the new deal, our future Kings or Queens – yep ours, coz we haven’t become a republic yet despite the best efforts of a bunch of constitutional reform tossers – would be decided simply by order of birth.

This means a first-born daughter of William and Kate will accede to the throne regardless of any male siblings under new plans which have been personally approved by the Queen.

It also means the Princess Royal would leapfrog over her younger brothers, Princes Andrew and Edward, to rise from tenth to fourth in the royal pecking order in the line to the throne.

Bishop Pete obviously forgot the line of command when he exposed himself as a republican

Could he be a defrocked bishop?

Alf reckons he can explain the accompanying picture.

It shows a man who was captured on Google Street View. He apparently is climbing into the boot of his car while naked.

A dog lies nearby surrounded by the contents of the sports car’s boot.

The image has prompted a rash of internet speculation over what activity the man could be involved in.

Alf’s firm suspicion is that he is a defrocked bishop, probably stripped of his clerical raiment for saying outrageously provocative things about The Royal Family.