Hanky-panky in the hammock? We can only wonder what Nelson would make of these manoeuvres

July 26, 2014

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Alf is very old-fashioned, when it comes to allowing the recruitment of females to the armed forces and to the promotion of these females too far up the command chain.

He has always held strongly to the view that this can only lead to hanky-panky of a sort best avoided, especially if this hanky-panky were to so preoccupy a couple that the enemy could sneak up on them and catch them with their pants down. This inevitably would put your comrades’ lives in danger.

For the same reason Alf has been disinclined to support the modern-day notions of equality that allow known homosexuals to join the armed forces. It means we are putting the defence of the realm in the hands of blokes and sheilas who may be overcome by their rampant hormones at a tactically vital moment to put a bit of coupling ahead of their military priorities.

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