It’s a sad day when things get hot for a party leader for being questioned in a sauna

June 19, 2015
Couldn't this have  been filmed by the Fox bunch?

Couldn’t this have been filmed by the Fox bunch?

Sir John Kirwan – gone as coach of the Blues and Alf did nicely, thank you, on some punts with his mates.


Alf is tempted to put some money on Colin Craig being a goner fairly soon.

Mind you, he has not been given any inside tips on this matter.

He is reliant on the news media and is bound to say this means he is listening to journalists,and journalists are at the bottom of the pecking order when it comes to public trust.

For what it’s worth, therefore, consider this:

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We might hear from Colin Craig’s ex-spin doctor – but not until she has taken some PR advice

September 18, 2014
Too rigid to be manipulated, apparently.

A spin doctor who finds manipulation disagreeable…

Gotta admit that the Grumble household is bubbling with conjecture about the spin doctor who has fled the Conservative Party camp just two days before the election.

Furthermore we are bemused to learn that Conservative leader Colin Craig was unaware that his press secretary of two years had quit her job. At least, that’s what he is saying.

We are reliant on a report in the Herald for our intelligence on the matter although it seems news of the spin doctor’s departure was first reported by Barry Soper on Newstalk. But Alf does not pay any attention to Soper, essentially because Soper pays no attention to Alf.

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Learning how to raise funds from harlots – for a fee, business people could rub shoulders with the PM

August 17, 2013

Have just prepared a memo for the buggers who run the National Party, who are always looking for ways of raising funds.

The memo is aimed at bringing more dosh into the party coffers by doing what the Brits are doing.

Britain’s PM and other political leaders have learned a trick or two from harlots.

They know they have what business people want, and they are willing to make it available – at a price.

We are not talking about your basic rumpy-pumpy here.

Nope. No clothing need be removed.

All the business people want is access.

So – let ’em have it for an appropriate fee.

The same is true in this country.

Business people love rubbing shoulders with the PM.

Let’s give them the opportunity – and charge them for the privilege.

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Tories say they were heavied by party bosses to support legislation on same-sex marriage

May 31, 2013

Gotta say it’s great being the long-serving member for Eketahuna North, rather than the member for a British constituency sitting in the House of Commons in London.

For starters, Alf fancies himself more as a House of Lords sort of bloke.

But if he had to settle for the Commons, he would be sitting there as a Conservative (and a proudly deeper-blue Tory than some others in that great party).

Accordingly he would have bridled, had he been warned his career and seat would be at risk if he did not back gay marriage in a free vote.

But there is a strong whiff that the consciences of MPs were tampered with to nudge them to vote in favour of allowing poofs to marry.

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Mana needs to hone its analytical skills – and it should be more wary of positive poll portents next time

November 29, 2011

"It's mum...she reckons we've got enough seats for me to be the Prime Minister."

A capacity for good political analysis seems to be lacking within the Mana Party.

The buggers are arguing the toss today about whether the election result was good or bad for them, after leader Hone Harawira reclaimed his Te Tai Tokerau seat, but the party failed to capture enough of the party vote to bring a second MP into Parliament.

Co-president Annette Sykes was in the latter group, saying she was “far from disappointed”.

Given that the party was formed only seven months before the election, 20,000 votes was a huge achievement.

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