Golfers shouldn’t be handicapped – or barred from the trough – just because they fail a poverty test

December 24, 2014
It's just a case of making the right pitch to have the millions spent here...

It’s just a case of making the right pitch to have the millions spent here…

Alf’s good mate Steven Joyce is a beneficent bugger – a sort of Father Christmas for the well-off.

He distributes his largesse not on the basis of whether the beneficiary has been good or naughty over the past year, but whether he, she or it mixes in the right circles.

These are circles of people plush with money and an urge to donate to the National Party, usually to ensure against the election of a leftie or greenie government.

Steven accordingly would not have needed too much persuading when asked to consider whether taxpayers should bankroll the New Zealand Open golf tournament.

Too damned right they should.

Some niggly tossers ask: but will there be a positive return?

It doesn’t matter. We don’t get a positive return, so far as Alf can see, from the money biffed at domestic purpose beneficiaries and other people down on their uppers.

Why should golf be different?
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Seymour should ask how many more votes ACT might get if it wasn’t so precious about corporate handouts

December 11, 2014
Then you fill it up with dollars and it's first in, first served...

Then you fill it up with dollars and it’s first in, first served…

Alf admires the aplomb with which his good mate Steven Joyce brushes off any suggestion a Tory Government should not be dishing out a rich swill for corporate oinkers.

If business benefactors find we Tories won’t reward them with a bit of corporate welfare now and again, the bloody economy would grind to a halt because we can be damned sure a pinko government won’t be helping them.

ACT’s David Seymour, who is new to this sort of thing, has a lot to learn because he was putting Parliamentary questions to Joyce yesterday on this subject. Obviously he disapproves of our generosity to Big Business.

He wanted to know if Steven was concerned at the scale of corporate welfare in New Zealand under this Government and if not, why not?

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Sorry to say, it’s John Key who is dishing out the corporate swill – and he’s calling for more troughers

November 7, 2014

 It sounded highly laudable, when The Boss announced it.bloated-pig-approaching-trough

The Government is co-investing in two new projects as part of the Tourism Growth Partnership.

The press statement from his office explains that the Tourism Growth Partnership is a $32 million contestable Government fund which aims to support innovation and productivity in the tourism sector.

Let’s call it a trough.

For each project approved for investment, the Government provides up to 50 per cent of the required funding.

And [drum roll please] the latest winners are….

Sorry, that’s not the official way of announcing it.

No, The Boss would prefer we say the successful applicants in the second round of funding are Christchurch International Airport’s Welcome China Project, which will receive $270,000 in funding, and Southern World Vacation’s Limited which will receive $112,950.

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The Hobbit and handouts – would they really have gone to Scotland if we didn’t fill the trough?

November 27, 2012

Alf had agreed with The Boss about providing troughs for the snouts of movie moguls.

If we’ve got to pick winners, and then nourish the buggers with public funding, then let’s pick winners from a glamourous industry like movie-making.

The photo opportunities for The Boss and his team are apt to have much more appeal to voters when they are pictured with movie people than – for example – coal miners.

At least, that’s what Alf thought until he found the Grumbles weren’t on the invitation list for the premiere of The Hobbit.

He is now taking a more jaundiced view of things, and especially he is wondering why the Government doesn’t want to disclose information about their handouts and other help to The Hobbit makers.

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