Dare-devil’s experience on a power pylon shows why it is smart to remain grounded

April 3, 2011

Uh, oh. New Zealand has produced another candidate for a Darwin Award.

These awards are named in honour of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, and commemorate those who improve the human gene pool by removing themselves from it.

In this case, we have the father of a 2-year-old girl who was electrocuted after climbing a power pylon.

The Herald on Sunday says Kheirrson Pukeroa fell the height of three storeys after touching an 11,000 volt line in Pokeno, south of Auckland, on March 13.

Exactly why he should clamber up a power pylon is not altogether clear.

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More reasons to steer clear of Christchurch: there’s a risk you will encounter a trike-riding lunatic

January 19, 2011

And if we catch you speeding, young man, we can take your trike to the crusher.

Uh, oh. More evidence has reached Alf of Christchurch people being a seriously below-average lot.

He hears of the cops worrying about the young folk in the shaky city careering through the suburbs on stunt tricycles at more than 100kmh.

The police say these young folk are putting lives at risk, which is obvious to anyone with even just a few brain cells to rub together.

Alf would not be too fussed if the lives put at risk were only those of the thrill-seekers. This would qualify them – if they do us a favour and get wiped out – for Darwin Awards.

Trouble is, the victims may well finish up being innocent people.

The Darwin Awards, of course, salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally remove themselves from it.

Among the recipients last year were the couple who parked their car on a busy freeway in heavy fog for a quick shag.

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Crossing had “stop” signs but fault is found with KiwiRail in the aftermath of another accident

January 13, 2011

You can ignore the information ... but don't blame KiwiRail if you come off second best in an encounter with a train.

Perhaps it comes from living in the shadow of Mt Egmont.

Whatever the reason, the buggers in that neck of the woods have a somewhat exaggerated notion of “black spot”.

Or – another strong possibility – the feverish Fairfax scribes have engaged in a beat-up in saying that a woman was killed yesterday at a notorious railway crossing that Stratford residents have been imploring authorities to fix for nearly 20 years.

Yesterday’s fatal crash at Stratford’s black spot – the Flint Rd railway crossing – was a grim reminder that nothing has changed since the last fatality there in 1992.

What was that again?

Oh, yes. The previous fatality on this “black spot” was way, way back in 1992.

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Rescue helicopter was much too efficient

October 12, 2009

What is it about beaches and fuckwits?

Alf was bemused, when so many Kiwis interpreted a recent tsunami warning as an invitation to rush to the beach to wait for the tsunami to arrive. He wondered if they were keen to win Darwin Awards, named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution. They commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

Now we learn of a Christchurch bloke who was crushed after the van on which he and four others were “car surfing” rolled on Okains Bay beach yesterday.

The man was riding on the van’s roof on the Banks Peninsula beach after an all-night rave party in a cave.

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