It looks like Standard fare – you celebrate because the Nats’ poll support has fallen to 50%

September 3, 2014
"If you ask me about a capital gains tax today, I think I know the answer."

“If you ask me about a capital gains tax today, I think I know the answers.”

It looks awfully as if a writer at The Standard has been puffing much too much of the stuff that the Aotearoa Legalise Cannabis Party would like to legalise.

Or imbibing too much in Alf’s favourite tipple.

Scribbling his observations under the name mickysavage, he is admitting that a month ago he was very pessimistic about the left’s chances in this election.

And well he might.

The media narrative was very negative and was having its effect. Morale was low. And the Beehive inspired and Slater directed attacks on David Cunliffe were relentless.

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A remarkable skill: Peter Dunne doesn’t have to read a book to measure its muck content

September 2, 2014

2008-03-15-book_burning

Gotta say there’s nothing quite as satisfying as pitching an election message to a bunch of well-heeled old farts.

They will even give a big cheer to the likes of Peter Dunne if he says the right thing.

Peter struck the right note in his home patch of Ohariu when he was questioned about Nicky Hager’s Dirty Politics and about the ethics and integrity of politics.

According to this report at Stuff,

…the UnitedFuture leader said he would not read it and labelled it “muckraking”.

It was a sentiment that drew the biggest cheer from the 150-strong crowd at Johnsonville’s Malvina Major Retirement Village yesterday, the large majority of whom were residents.

That’s the right way – and the right-wing way, hurrah – to deal with trash dressed up as a literary revellation.

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If you go with Gower, you are backing Bennett and bypassing the blokes who hanker to be next leader

August 24, 2014
"When I say this big, I'm not talking about poll support."

“When I say this big, I’m not talking about her poll support.”

Patrick Gower admits he is a plonker who got it wrong last time. And Alf reckons he has got it wrong this time.

Last time he predicted Crusher was a likely National leader to succeed The Boss.

This time he is putting his money on Paula Bennett.

Alf trusts he is not putting too much money on Paula.

This by no means is meant to reflect unkindly on our splendid Minister for Social Development. When it comes to the crunch – or the crush – pretty well anybody in the National team would make a better prime minister than anyone the lefties or greenies could throw into the ring.

But it does seem Gower has a thing about Rubenesque sheilas with a bit of beef and solid thighs.

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Oops – maybe there has been an awful misunderstanding about cultivating Cam’s friendship

August 19, 2014
Keep an eye out for an account of saucy goings-on here at Labour Party HQ in Eketahuna North.

Keep an eye out for an account of saucy goings-on here at Labour Party HQ in Eketahuna North.

Gotta admit to feeling somewhat uneasy about leaking further bits of this and that to Whaleoil.

Until now Alf had understood he was doing the party a big favour by passing on anything that might show up pinkies, greenies and their ilk in a bad light.

What’s more the encouragement of Jason Ede had given Alf the strong impression this sort of thing was good for scoring personal brownie points – and enhancing one’s political ambitions – up there on the Ninth Floor of The Beehive.

Ede should need no introducing. His name has been peppered into umpteen news reports in recent days (whereas Alf, dammit, hasn’t been mentioned once).

But maybe his encouragement was misunderstood.

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Falkenstein is fair fuming – but if a Whale flattened an offensive against fizz, so what?

August 15, 2014

soft-drinks

A bloke can stick up a water tank and collect the stuff when it falls on the roof. For free.

Alf refers, of course, to water.

It’s something he prefers to avoid, although he does consume his share of it in his tea and coffee. And some of his mates put a drop of it into their whisky.

If you don’t get it straight from the skies and into a water tank, which is true for most people nowadays, you can turn a tap and it will flow into a jug, your kitchen sink or the bath.

This being so it has seemed odd to Alf that anyone would want to buy their water in a plastic bottle from the supermarket, then have to hump it home.

But it takes all sorts, eh?

And when there are customers bursting to buy their water in plastic bottles at a supermarket, there will will be someone willing to supply it.

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