Guns have their uses in persuading kids to get off the PC but an accidental firing would be negligent

A bloke who was said to have pointed a loaded gun at an eight-year-old boy and threatened to shoot him if he did not get off the computer deserves a bit more sympathy than a vengeful society is likely to give him.

Only a bit of sympathy, mind you.

Firing the bloody gun (as was alleged) would have gone too far.

But it has taken several years to have him dragged before the court, which is a clear case of denying the old adage about justice delayed being justice denied.

The derision after displaying a dick diminished by the cold should be discipline enough

But would you proudly show your minnow?

The Army seems to be hiring blokes who are not as bright as Alf would like them to be. This bodes ill for the defence of the realm.

This observation is based on news of a New Zealand Army officer being sent home in disgrace from his job as a machinery operator in Antarctica after showing pictures of his genitals to female co-workers.

It is a well known fact that a bloke’s genitals are apt to shrink in cold weather, and – as Alf understands these things – it can get bloody cold in Antarctica.

Taking pictures of your nob and your knackers in these conditions is not calculated to show them off to their best advantage.

The cane mutiny – bring back corporal punishment to our classrooms (and let’s not forget about tasers)

Dunno when we were gulled into abandoning corporal punishment in schools but we are now reaping the whirlwind.

The perverse but predictable consequence of sparing the rod is much worse than simply spoiling the brats. It’s that the little buggers are expressing their delight at being mollycoddled by bashing their teachers.

The Dom-Post gives us an idea of the mayhem in our schools in a grim report today.

Hundreds of teachers have received ACC-funded treatment after being assaulted at school.

Principals are shocked by the figure and are demanding immediate action to make schools safer.

Some school staff now fear breaking up fights in case pupils have weapons, and others refuse to do lunchtime duty alone.

A teacher injured during a school attack says that staff will always be at risk from “nutters”.

Hey – here are some kids who don’t mind a smack

We don’t have any of those places in Eketahuna where a bloke can go to be whipped by a lass clad in black leather. But if you happen to run such an establishment in your neck of the woods, there’s good news in the NZ Herald today.

Our namby-pamby approach to discipline does not mean we are raising a generation of kids who don’t appreciate a good smacking.

Nineteen years after physical punishment was banned in schools, the NZ Herald has surveyed a bunch of kids and found that while most want the ban (no surprise), “there is still some support for smacking as a form of discipline.”

An intermediate school was chosen for the survey because the students, all but one aged 11, are old enough to have opinions but young enough for discipline to be fresh in their memories.

How a Noble spirit was flushed down the bog

Oh dear. Let’s all weep and wail for Oriwa Pehi-Livapulu, whose mana has been taken away and her son Noble’s spirit trampled on.

Yeah, right.

A mother is seeking legal advice after her 5-year-old son was made to clean toilets by a caregiver at Chipmunks as punishment for supposedly hitting a girl in the face with a ball.

Oriwa Pehi-Livapulu says her son Noble could have become sick and has complained to Child, Youth and Family, which funds the after-school care programme in Rotorua, known as Oscar.

“They could have made him collect the dishes off the table but he was not given that option. He doesn’t even clean the toilet at home, he’s only 5 years old. I draw the line at that. It’s a big no-no.

“My mana has been taken away from me. Noble’s spirit has been trampled on.”