If you want to see a cover-up, leave Crusher alone and check out the dress code in Qatar

May 29, 2014

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The Grumbles have never been great enthusiasts for soccer, or any sport where the players are apt to kiss and hug each other and otherwise display unseemly behaviour.

The won’t, therefore, be travelling to Qatar for the 2022 World Cup, some eight years hence.

Among other things, Alf by then will be … well, let’s say of mature years in the age department.

In some respects this is a shame because it means the Grumbles won’t enjoy the spectacle of soccer fans – a boozy, brawling bunch of hooligans, by all accounts – getting to grips with the dress and behaviour code of Qatar.

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We don’t demand haute couture in the House but wearing Highlanders’ discarded kit was a blue

June 8, 2011

It's a nice shade of blue ... but what would happen if Alf wore this in the House?

Alf took serious offence at a Labour politician, Clare Curran. desporting herself in National colours yesterday.

Accordingly he approved of the Speaker giving her a red card and kicking her off the Parliamentary pitch.

As it turned out, she was thrown out of the House for wearing a Highlanders’ rugby shirt.

Today she is reported to have bleated about an “over reaction” from Speaker Lockwood Smith.

The Dunedin South MP had appeared at Parliamentary questions wearing the southern team’s old blue, gold and maroon kit in protest at the new lime green colour.

Speaker Lockwood Smith declared the shirt violated Parliament’s strict dress codes and ordered Curran to leave.

Parliament’s dress code dictates male members must wear a tie or jacket buttoned up to the neck. Women must wear ”normal business attire” however there is no specific detail on what is allowed.

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The protocols are important when His Maori Majesty is holding one of his balls

May 19, 2011

No, you can't come in without gowns and tiaras.

As an unabashed monarchist, Alf is thrilled to see Maori are adopting protocols of the sort one would encounter at Buckingham Palace.

This demonstrates that King Tuheitia is willing to learn from the Crown side of the treaty partnership about how to run the royalty racket.

Having a chief of protocol is an important part of the rigmarole.

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