Dwarfs are thrown by tossers but – worse – are dropped from the BBC’s vocubulary

January 14, 2012

He had an unfortunate encounter with a Pommy tosser.

Alf has brought the BBC into his blog for the second successive day.

But whereas yesterday his interest was triggered by a boorish broadcaster’s dragging New Zealand into his badinage, today he will berate the Beeb for being much too bloody precious.

Its avoidance of simple English so as not to offend dwarfs is best illustrated by examining how other media have headlined reports of the same event on their web sites.

Top marks for succinctly summing things up go to Newser: Tosser Cripples Dwarf.

The Sydney Morning Herald headlined its story with Dwarf left wheelchair-bound after being dropped on night out celebrating his birthday.

Scenic Queenstown highlighted the local angle: Dwarf blames Queenstown bar antics for inspiring attack.

The Week tells us: Paralysed dwarf blames England’s Mike Tindall for his injuries.

But the BBC is much more coy: Man with restricted growth injured in street attack.

It kicks off its report –

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Aussies who get huffy about a kickboxing bout are discriminating against small people

June 21, 2011

Alf put his money on the fighter sporting handsome blue gloves.

Looks like the authorities have gone all soft and mushy in Queensland, the state where the noble sport of dwarf throwing is said to have originated.

This is wht comes from the state being led by (a) the first popularly elected female Premier in Australia; and (b) a Labor Party Premier.

The measure of Queensland’s descent into political correctness since then is reflected in the state government ordering an investigation into a kickboxing bout.

It seems to be hot and bothered that the bout was between two young girls on the Gold Coast.

Dunno what’s wrong with that, but –

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Possum throwing is a small-time sport – why not think big and start throwing whales?

September 22, 2010

A dwarf can argue the toss - a dead possum can not.

Dunno what sort of respect we should be showing dead possums, especially the ones found creamed on the middle of the highway.

But throwing the buggers – it transpires – is deemed disrespectful in some circles.

Immoral, too.

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