Yep, the earth did move for the Grumbles (as it did for everybody else in Eketahuna) but they survived

January 21, 2014

Gotta say it took the Member for Eketahuna North a minute or two to appreciate what was happening when the 6.2 magnitude earthquake struck near his home town.

He happened to be consulting constituents in the Commercial Hotel, a splendid watering hole.

More specifically, he was wandering back from the bog to the bar, and by then had sunk more than a few shots of his favourite Scotch, and so was not 100% steady on his feet.

Accordingly he was inclined – momentarily – to attribute the rocking motion in the pub to his condition.

Read the rest of this entry »

Is the abandonment of Christchurch a Maori phenomenon – or is there a broader story?

April 7, 2011

Let's leave rebuilding to the property-owning honkeys.

Well, well, well. A Maori exodus.

And all because the departing Maori feel they don’t have a stake in a city where fellow citizens – as ratepayers and taxpayers – have been subsidising their low-rent accommodaion.

Christchurch Maori academic Rawiri Taonui was reported today as saying many Maori are abandoning the city because they don’t have an ownership stake in rebuilding it.

An interesting word, “abandoning”.

That’s what we do – and rats, too – to get off sinking ships.

And the evidence for this claim that many Maori are abandoning the city?

Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s the up side of misery and fear – hardship is hitting harlots while the churches flourish

March 26, 2011

Daniel Adams – a reporter on the Waikato Times – has a delightfully biblical name.

It is appropriate therefore that he has been sent out to report on the booming business for churches in Hamilton.

But his by-line appears on another story in his newspaper today, about a drop in business for the city’s whores and harlots.

He has not noted the obvious connection between the two trends – that as more and more people rediscover The Lord, so more and more people must be rejecting the works of the Devil and eschewing the sins of the flesh.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Black Caps have a choice: learn from Bob Blair or pull up stumps and come back home

February 28, 2011

The 1953–54 New Zealand cricket team in South Africa. R.W. (Bob) Blair is the last player on the right in the second row. Bert Sutcliffe is third from the right, sitting down.

No disrespect to Alan Donald.

But maybe we sent the wrong bloke to the Cricket World Cup to coach our bowlers.

We should have sent Bob Blair.

The tossers who ponce beneath the title “Black Caps” doubtless are learning much from Donald’s coaching.

Actually, they probably could learn much from the coaching skills of Alf’s seven-year-old grand-daughter, who performed admirably as a bowler (albeit under-arm) in a match at the beach at the weekend.

Read the rest of this entry »

If an iceberg can calve, will the genetic engineers become involved in future calvings?

February 24, 2011

So what does the picture above have in common with the picture below?

We live and learn, as they say.

Alf has just learned that calving can happen in places other than dairy farms.

He did know it can happen at research centres, where genetic engineers do their thing, and it can happen in the ocean, when whales give birth.

But that’s not all…

Read the rest of this entry »

Besides the quake, there’s news about the foreshore furore, charitable fund-raising and PSA pique

February 23, 2011

The NZ public is understandably focused on the disastrous earthquake and its aftermath in Christchurch. The media is appropriately focused there, too.

Some important bits of news accordingly might escape public attention.

In the last hour or so, for example, Scoop posted a summary of Māori submissions on the Marine and Coastal Bill was released.

This is a summary of the 72 submissions received by the Māori Affairs Select Committee from marae, hapū, iwi, Māori land owners, organisations and collectives. It does not include those submissions made by Māori individuals. It has been prepared by a collective of concerned people, Kaitiaki o te Takutai, who wanted to know what hapū and iwi said about the Marine and Coastal Bill. It is our hope that their voices will be listened to.

The important thing is that all submitters said they were opposed to the Foreshore Seabed Act 2004 and supported its repeal.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Christchurch earthquake: David Farrar has summed things up sadly but succinctly

February 22, 2011

The death toll is now thought to be around 65. Words are inadequate.

That’s how David Farrar summed up his record of today’s tragic events in and around Christchurch earlier this evening.

DF is in Australia. But he has been keeping an eye on the day’s events on telly and Alf does not intend to try to add to his succinct summation of what has happened.

Finance Minister Bill English has just said at a press conference in Wellington that the death toll is likely to rise. He is urging people to get out of the severely shaken city’s central business district.

Unknown numbers of people remain trapped in rubble.

It is a sad day for the city and for the country.

Anderton will be chuffed – he has been promised the vote of a Mongrel Mob member

September 13, 2010

Christchurch citizens might be rocked by the time it took Jim Anderton to come to a sensible decision, but Alf is by no means surprised.

Let’s face it – Jim has been a national superannuitant for a few years now and for age reasons can be excused if he’s slowing down, although this expression of understanding by no means should be interpreted as a sign that Alf would vote for the bugger.

The important thing for the purposes of this post is that Jim has finally done it and announced he will resign his Wigram seat in Parliament if he wins next month’s mayoral election.

Read the rest of this entry »

Alas, the questions that need asking about Jim Anderton’s mayoralty prospects may not get an airing

September 7, 2010

Alf is more than a tad miffed.

It seems the buggers who decide these things have agreed we won’t have Question Time in Parliament tomorrow.

Alf picked up the news from Radio NZ, in an item about the PM cancelling his trip to Europe to stay at home and deal with the aftermath of the Canterbury earthquake.

Read the rest of this entry »

Earthquakes, rain, wind and fire – but no plague, poverty, pestilence or boy racer headlines

September 6, 2010

Hugh Grant...he cheered up Alf with his fashion advice.

It’s hard to find good news at Stuff – or anywhere else – this morning.

The poor buggers in Canterbury, already facing a massive cleanup from the quake, could still be hit by floods from rising rivers.

The Stuff reporters tell us emergency services, councils and other agencies were called yesterday to “numerous instances” of felled trees and power lines.

Some of these fallen trees and lines knocked out power and blocked roads, “as high winds hammered the region in the wake of Saturday’s pre-dawn magnitude 7.1 earthquake.”

It could have been worse.

Read the rest of this entry »