Gerry and the film-makers – or how to grovel to keep The Hobbit from emigrating

Betcha Gerry will come up with a bigger subsidy if I threaten to stick this up him.

Size does matter, of course, and if you are big enough you can get the Key cabinet to turn all sorts of tricks for you.

Especially when Hollywood movie moguls are involved, Alf’s Nat mates are eager to perform – and to please.

Want new labour laws?

Yep. We can fix it.

Want bigger subsidies?

Yep. We can fix that too.

Don’t fly off to the media with your larvae – make a mint from your maggots instead

The reputation of maggots has been sullied in the Herald today with another of those stories about pissed-off people finding one of these magnificent creatures in their tucker.

This time we are told of a healthcare worker who was “disgusted” after finding a maggot in her McDonald’s burger box.

Linda MacDonald, a mental health carer, had just finished eating an Angus Burger Combo, which she bought from the Pt Chevalier McDonald’s, when a colleague she shared the burger with pointed out something “wiggling” in the box.

The 59-year-old Auckland grandmother spat out her remaining mouthful and ran to the toilet to throw up.