Carter Holt learns to its cost how to deal with a worker who used the “f” word, but only in fun

November 5, 2014
It's easy for a hermaphrodite to take the aggrieved worker's advice...

Hermaphrodites are better equipped than bosses to take the aggrieved worker’s advice…

It’s cheering to learn that something Alf is apt to say when appropriately infuriated isn’t as disagreeable as he supposed.

Telling someone to go fuck yourself, to the contrary, can be a nice little earner, depending on how the recipient of the advice reacts.

We learn this from a Herald report of a ruling by the Employment Relations Authority, a remarkable outfit with the skill to recognise the fun side of a bit of verbal howz-yer-father in the workplace.

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Our labour laws have gone to pot – or why we must do things by the book when sacking a drug supplier

January 7, 2010

Come in Kate Wilkinson. There’s work to be done in your labour portfolio.


The Employment Relations Authority needs dismantling, our employment law needs rewriting and common sense needs restoring to a boss’s right to fire staff.

But don’t sack the buggers at the authority before we have put new arrangements in place. Otherwise they are apt to take legal action under a system with which they have become all too familiar, and will try to screw the taxpayer for big bucks.

Alf tenders this advice on learning that a small business has been ordered to pay an employee $12,000 – including $6000 compensation for distress – after he was sacked for supplying cannabis to a workmate.

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Despatcher of dirty e-mails gets his come-uppance

August 19, 2009

Good to see an employer successfully appeal another daft decision in a sacked employee’s favour from the Employment Relations Authority.

This time, says the NZ Herald, the ERA had ruled in favour of a Philip Walker who successfully argued that the dirty emails he sent were part of a wider workplace culture.

So just how much filth can a bloke send in company time, according to the ERA?

Walker had been sacked from his job as a purchasing officer after sending 425 non-work-related emails to colleagues and family members between March and September last year.
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Overcoming work stress with a noggin

August 5, 2009

A case just settled by the Employment Relations Authority, an outfit responsible for some daft decisions on occasion, this time has Alf in two minds.

The authority has decided Resene Paints was justified in firing an underperforming worker, who was too ill to come to work but was able to spend two afternoons a week in the pub.

Paul Woodhead, who was employed for 15 years as a colour matcher in the Hutt Valley paint factory, claimed he was unjustifiably given final warnings and dismissed last year.

However, ERA member Gregory Wood determined his dismissal was justified and was what a fair and reasonable employer would have done.

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