Let’s not do things by halves to lose a bit of weight – let’s go the whole hog and lose lots

September 20, 2013

Alf is delighted to report good news for couch potatoes: exercising for half an hour helps you lose 25% MORE weight than going for a full hour.

This good news is brought to us by the UK’s Daily Mail, which says overweight people who exercise for short periods of time are happier and more motivated to pursue a healthy lifestyle.

Tests have shown that cutting an exercise regime in half holds great benefits for people who are overweight, increasing their chances of shedding the pounds.

The shorter exercise sessions left slimmers happier, with more energy and motivation for pursuing a healthy lifestyle, while those who spent twice as long in the gym were more likely to feel burned out, researchers at the University of Copenhagen found.

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Keeping fit between the sheets – survey finds one in five Poms get their exercise from sex

February 14, 2013
As good as a gymnasium.

As good as a gymnasium.

It’s jogging for some Kiwis, golf for some, or simply taking a brisk walk.

But Alf suspects that the British experience, when it comes to exercise, is by and large replicated in this country too.

If this be so, it means a significant number of us do our exercising (a) in bed and (b) in the buff by (c) indulging in good old-fashioned rumpy-pumpy.

The source of this intelligence is to be found here.

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Forget what the doctors say about exercise – like cigarettes, it can be bad for your health

April 16, 2012

He took one swing too many.

Doctors for years have urged Alf to exercise for the sake of his health.

He has been reluctant to do the docs’ bidding and is always suspicious of advice that would reduce the time he can spare for vigorous elbow bending in the Eketahuna Club.

His suspicions have been fortified by the bad experience of a woman in Britain whose doctors advised her to go walking.

Now she is dead.

The exercise thing is seriously over-rated.

Alf became wary after Bing Crosby, one of Mrs Grumble’s heart throbs, suffered a fatal heart attack in 1977 while playing golf near Madrid, in Spain.

He finished 18 holes with a score of 85, and with a partner, defeated two Spanish golf pros. After his last putt, Bing bowed to applause and said, “It was a great game.” He was about 20 yards from the clubhouse, when he collapsed from a massive heart attack.

He was 74.

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The derision after displaying a dick diminished by the cold should be discipline enough

February 13, 2011

But would you proudly show your minnow?

The Army seems to be hiring blokes who are not as bright as Alf would like them to be. This bodes ill for the defence of the realm.

This observation is based on news of a New Zealand Army officer being sent home in disgrace from his job as a machinery operator in Antarctica after showing pictures of his genitals to female co-workers.

It is a well known fact that a bloke’s genitals are apt to shrink in cold weather, and – as Alf understands these things – it can get bloody cold in Antarctica.

Taking pictures of your nob and your knackers in these conditions is not calculated to show them off to their best advantage.

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Great gran’s great example (for others)

August 3, 2009

Here’s hoping Mrs Grumble doesn’t spot the story in the Herald headed Great-gran swimming to victory – at 91

It’s an inspiring piece, for those of us who are getting on in years, and it’s bound to have Mrs Grumble demanding that Alf follow the great-gran’s example.

He’s a tad reluctant to do that because – as is obvious from the Herald’s account of her training routine – it would cut down the time available for his demanding regimen of glass-lifting exercises in the Eketahuna Club.
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