When all the kids are dressed the same, a sneaky kiss behind the dunnies will be perilous

May 29, 2015
Let's just call it "The Bog".

Let’s just call it “The Bog”.

Alf does not not know if it is a reliable expectation or a vain hope.

He hopes it’s the former.

It’s the Family First NZ assertion that most schools along with the parents in the school community will rightly reject the extreme elements of the new sexuality education guidelines.

Family First also says resources should be targeted at parents to help them educate their own children (presumably on the birds and bees stuff).

The statement was prompted by news that schools have been asked to consider offering gender-neutral uniforms as part of new sexuality education guidelines aimed at being more inclusive.

Dunno what this “inclusive” carry-on is all about.

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It helps to get words like “nun” and “masturbating” into your lobbying pitch to grab public attention

February 14, 2015

The Family First mob – an admirable outfit in most respects  – should consult with the Taxpayers’ Union on the small matter of  attention-grabbing.

Both organisations are complaining (and rightly so) about a t-shirt that some tossers regard as a legitimate museum piece.

Alf will be going out to argue for a t-shirt burning, should his help be needed, and he will certainly be asking questions in Parliament of our Minister of Arts, Culture and What-have you and/or Minister of Local Government.

He will also be thundering his outrage in a speech to the House, should he be given the opportunity.

But he knew nothing about any outrage,  despite  Family First being the first to post a press statement on the matter at Scoop.

Not until the Taxpayers Union posted its press statement on the same matter.

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The Brits haven’t banned it but the Malaysians have – so what should we do about the Grey film?

February 8, 2015

Alf has always had a high regard for the decent family values championed by Bob McCroskrie and his Family First outfit.

But he’s bothered to learn that on the matter of movies and censorship, Bob’s more inclined to embrace the hard-line attitude of a Moslem country than the more liberal position of our Mother Country, the United Kingdom.

Bob is urging folk not to go to a movie with the unappetising title “Fifty Shades of Grey”.

He must be colour blind, because he makes it sound like this is a very naughty blue movie and accordingly is best avoided by decent family people.

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Teenagers’ secret abortions: Crusher was right about that privacy pap back in 2004

May 16, 2011

Alf is somewhat gobsmacked by the involvement of school counsellors in the business of secretly arranging abortions for the daughters of the taxpayers who pay their salaries.

Pro-choice and pro-life groups are wrangling over a teenage girl’s decision to have her school organise an abortion for her without letting her parents know.

Arguments on whether the school’s actions were appropriate flared after a report of a woman’s horror that her 16-year-old daughter was able to have an abortion arranged by a school counsellor with no parental input.

It’s not often something happening Down Under makes it on to Fox News.

But this furore has put us in the headlines there:

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Burgered by its WiFi policy – McDonald’s must be careful not to re-ignite protests back in the USA

January 11, 2011

McDonald's will be mindful of this as they muse on allegations of discrimination Down Under

Alf is appalled by the gall of some people (poofters and lesbians, in this case).

They are able to take advantage of a free service, but complain they have been short-changed.

These contemptible ingrates – when they go to McDonald’s restaurants for a burger and fries or some of that good-health tucker now available – can tap into the internet if they want. For free.

It’s a nice little extra service that the food chain provides.

But are the poofters pleased?

Nah. The buggers are dismayed to find they can’t tap into so-called “gay” websites.

So they are publicly denouncing the restaurant for the shortcomings in a service that is provided for free.

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A strapping idea with good support – legislate to restore the cane and bring discipline back into our schools

May 15, 2010

Welcome back, Wackford Squeers.

Alf takes heart today that we New Zealanders aren’t quite as daft as he feared in tolerating the sparing of rods and the spoiling of sprogs.

At least, not all of us are daft.

We learn today that – according to a national survey of 1000 people – half of New Zealanders support the reintroduction of corporal punishment in schools.

The poll, by Curia Market Research, asked: “Do you think a school should be able to choose to use corporal punishment, if the board, parents and principal wish to have this as an option for school discipline?”

Fifty per cent agreed, 44 per cent disagreed and 6 per cent were undecided.

The survey findings are timely. This was a week in which violent incidents in secondary schools and publicity about brats brandishing knives demonstrated the folly of banning the strap, the cane and the birch.

Alf actually fancies bringing back the stocks and the ducking stool for good measure.

The Herald reminds us that –

This week, maths teacher Steve Hose, of Te Puke High School, was stabbed four times in the neck and shoulder by a 13-year-old boy in Year 9.

Mr Hose was rushed to Tauranga Hospital and the boy was put in the care of Child, Youth and Family.

On Thursday, Hamilton Girls’ High School was locked down for about half an hour after a 15-year-old student walked into a classroom hunting for another pupil.

Police said the incident seemed to be in response to bullying.

The caning survey was conducted in March.

Alf reckons we who favour a good flogging for schoolchild miscreants would get even more support if it was conducted now.

Family First wants the results considered by the authorities and a review of silly anti-smacking laws that forbid corporal punishment.

Bob McCoskrie, the spokesman for lobby group Family First, claimed violent incidents in secondary schools this week were proof of a need for stricter punishments.

He claimed that the removal of corporal punishment had resulted in “more dangerous” schools that were tolerating an unacceptable level of violence and offensive behaviour.He claimed that the removal of corporal punishment had resulted in “more dangerous” schools that were tolerating an unacceptable level of violence and offensive behaviour.

Alas, the teaching profession is dominated by mamby-pamby do-gooders nowadays. Hence even if we parliamentarians did pass laws to permit corporal punishment, the buggers would decline to use the restoration of the cane to bring good old-fashioned discipline back into our schools.


School chairman is rubbed up the wrong way in Radio NZ interview about house with a “Massage” sign outside

April 28, 2010

Alf questions whether a building can feel outrage, or any other emotion, come to think of it.

He raises the matter after reading (at Stuff) that a west Auckland intermediate school is outraged it can do nothing about a brothel which has opened across the road where parents drop off and pick up their children.

Actually, as further reading of the report makes clear, it’s the school board chairman who is outraged.

The same bloke seems to be easily outraged, because he became incensed when Radio NZ’s Sean Plunket – on Morning Report this morning – tried to find out what was outraging him.
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