When stripping is part of the action at a posh school for sheilas, Hekia should look at the funding

September 4, 2014
School was never quite like this in Eketahuna.

School was never quite like this in Eketahuna.

Alf was fascinated earlier this year by a report of a real life St Trinian’s in Britain where unruly pupils got up to the sort of hanky-panky that would be punished with a fierce caning in the good old days.

A snap inspection found some of the pupils were involved in a string of bullying incidents as well as reports of brawling, food fights, swearing at teachers, smoking and truancy.

The school was also placed in special measures after the inspectors gave it a Grade 4 rating – the worst it can possibly give out – branding it ‘inadequate’ and ‘requiring improvement.’

The verdict led to comparisons to the fictional St Trinian’s school for girls – originally created by a cartoonist in the 1940s which later became the subject of hit movies.

The school was inspected after it announced it would provide iPads for teachers and pupils

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Now we have a good reason to keep Mallard and his colleagues from playing soccer

March 29, 2012

The link between playing football and testosterone levels has been established too late in Alf’s life for him to benefit.

But he will be bringing it to the attention of family members in the appropriate age bracket, encouraging them to take up football in the interests of getting much more foliage on the Grumble family tree.

He does this reluctantly, because he happens to look askance at the behaviour of football players whenever they score a goal. They kiss, hug and otherwise carry on like poofters.

Perhaps that’s because scoring – actually – is a rare event in many matches. The score typically can finish 1-0 after an hour and half or so of running up and down the field and kicking the ball around. Sometimes after all that grunting and sweating we get a scoreless draw.

But Alf can see there’s another side to the game.

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