Who will be haunted by whom?

Frightening news for ghosts in The Telegraph today.

Wierdo entertainer Michael Jackson is to rent a house near haunted caves during his concerts in London.

The eccentric singer is reported to have paid £1 million to rent a large country house near the edge of an ancient 22-mile maze of haunted passageways.

The undisclosed home is thought to be close to the Chislehurst Caves in Bromley, in the south-east suburbs of London.

Ghost sightings have been reported at the caves, which were dug in chalk by the Saxons, Druids and Romans.

Just one glimpse of the creature pictured above should be enough – Alf imagines – to have any self-respecting ghost buggering off real fast to hunker down in a less threatening neighbourhood.