It’s a bloody outrage – a bloke from Zimbabwe will be at the wedding while the Grumbles watch on TV

Alf will be proud to place his whisky glass on this Prince William & Kate Middleton Wedding Commemorative Coaster.

Alf was delighted to read of the Royalist leanings of Aaron Hape and Chloe Oldfield, who strike him as being a splendid couple (and probably worth recruiting into the National Party).

According to the Dom-Post, they will be celebrating the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton tonight under red, white and blue streamers and before a portrait of the Queen.

Mr Hape said they were expecting about 30 guests – who have all been asked to dress for the occasion, whatever their views on the monarchy – at the party at their flat in Brooklyn, Wellington.

“I’ve asked people to come in formal dress, and I’ll be making cucumber sandwiches.”

Alf wouldn’t bother inviting anyway who was not a staunch monarchist.

But he admires the 19-year-old Victoria University student who apparently co-ordinates the Wellington arm of Monarchy New Zealand.

He admires his taste in sheilas, too.

Goodwin and a bank’s bad losses

Banking is a good game to be in, if you are unsure about whether you will be good at it.

Even if the bank you are running fails – or falters, but is rescued by taxpayers – you stand to do quite nicely, thank you. In Britain, anyway (and reports from the US show it is true there, too).

The Royal Bank of Scotland has just announced the largest annual loss in British corporate history.

Bailed out by the government last year, it has reported a 2008 loss of £24.1bn.

It says it will put £325bn of “toxic assets” (Alf loves the language of high finance) into a scheme that offers insurance for any future losses.

So who was in charge when the bank was racing to the cliff edge?