Grant Robertson goes future-gazing for dairy farmers (and is gloomy) while Our Bill fluffs his percentages

June 12, 2015
Look out for this during arguments about dairying..

Look out for this during arguments about dairying..

It’s not too often Alf has to worry about his mateĀ Bill English.

But he did wriggle somewhat uncomfortably today when it sounded suspiciously as if Bill was getting into the soothsaying business.

Labour’s Grant Robertson most certainly was doing it.

ButĀ Alf is not surprised to hear that lefties have been desperately poking sticks into chicken entrails or some such to try to read the future, then have emerged to proclaim that the future is looking grimmer than the Government is willing to acknowledge.

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Has Andrew Little gone silent? Yes, but only about his Labour leadership ambitions

October 5, 2014
"But keeping quiet isn't my strong suit."

“But keeping quiet isn’t my strong suit.”

On the front page of the NZ Herald, one item grabbed Alf’s attention: It was headed Little not saying much and it steered readers to an item headed…

Little dodges leadership contest questions.

Oh joy, Alf thought.

Has the Labour MP been struck dumb?

Alas, no.

Rather, he he was being evasive – or had gone coy.

Labour MP Andrew Little has dodged questions about whether or not he will throw his hat into ring of the leadership contest.

Speaking on TV3’s The Nation this morning, Mr Little said he is waiting until after final election results are released today before he starts to make a decision.

“I’m just waiting to see whether I am going to still be in parliament, I won’t know until 2pm today,” he said.

“It is not something I have given thought to at this point, but if I am confirmed today I will have an opportunity to think about it, and if I’m not I’ll find other ways to support the cause.”

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Keep an eye on Charlie the Chimp – he gibbers, sure, but he would make one helluva great Labour leader

October 2, 2014
You can have a loser, or a gay...or me.

You can have a loser, or a gay…or me.

Up the road an hour or two from Eketahuna, Stuart Nash has been having second and then third thoughts about Labour’s leadership.

He obviously fancies himself in the job but is running hot and cold on the matter, if we are to believe this report.

A third contender could be about to enter the ring for Labour leadership, with MP Stuart Nash reportedly reconsidering his position.

Mr Nash ruled out contesting the leadership last week, leaving Grant Robertson and former leader David Cunliffe the only candidates in the running.

There is some concern the mood for change in the party won’t be satisfied with Mr Robertson as leader and RadioLIVE reports there is lobbying for Mr Nash who is seen as an electable Prime Minister.

If he can bring in Te Tai Tokerau MP Kelvin Davis as a potential deputy it would secure crucial Maori votes. Unions have a 20 percent say in the election primary and it’s understood they’re open to the idea. In caucus there’s also a sizable group who would likely get in behind him.

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Precious Chris won’t split an infinitive but he has become a dab hand at divided governance

January 18, 2014

He’s a colleague, sure enough. But he’s also a tosser.

We speak of Chris Finlayson, and if any readers of this post should question his credentials for being lumped among the tossers…

Well, just take a butchers at this report on the Stuff website, which tells us he is passionate his office staff should not sloppily split infinitives, or use Oxford commas.

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PM’s chat show highlights the absurdity of differing interpretations of electoral law

February 10, 2012

Alf was more than a bit miffed, when Radio Eketahuna (also known as 2ZE FM) declined his suggestion they give him a stint behind the microphone for a few hours a month or so ago.

He promised his chat show would be an election-free zone – he would steer clear of political stuff and talk instead about his cat, Coronation Street, Mrs Grumble’s gardening prowess and the secret of her prize-winning pumpkins, how to pour a whisky and so on.

He would conduct a few interviews with the likes of Colin Meads, The Mad Butcher and Fred Dagg.

Buckingham Palace advised him Her Majesty never did media interviews with anybody as a matter of strict principle and hence would not be available.

Never mind. Alf hoped to get Lucy Lawless in her stead.

He thought this idea was a shoo-in.

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Lefties and greenies should look beyond asset sales to find the defining election issue

November 25, 2011

What happened to these privatised state assets? Oh, yes, they finished up in public ownership again.

Buckets of bollocks have been uttered about sales of state assets during the election campaign.

Labour’s Phil Goff – for example – has been banging on about them being gone for ever, once they have been sold.

So how come taxpayers are still pouring money into our state-owned rail company?

Alf was among the enthusiastic supporters of the Bolger government’s privatising New Zealand Rail Ltd back in 1993.

The bloody outfit went through a few name and ownership changes – Tranz Rail, Toll NZ – and continued to bleed money.

In May 2008 the Clark Government agreed to buy Toll NZ Ltd (less its trucking and distribution operations) for $665 million.

It has not been a nice little earner for taxpayers since then.

But it has shown that once an asset has been sold, it it is not necessarily gone for ever.

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Shane Jones is tipped to make a come-back, but who is the tipster and where has Jones been?

January 4, 2011

And my New Year resolution is to stick to the Walt Disney channel.

Alf is always fascinated by political reports built on a mix of firm quotes and vague tip-offs and understandings.

A splendid example pops up in the Herald today.

Shane Jones (pictured here) is tipped to be handed the Opposition Maori Affairs portfolio and placed on the frontbench as Labour prepares its lineup for the election.

Tipped? By who?

Oh, look.

A big fat clue.

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