This Wildebeest bloke is described as a respectable town planner, although Alf has never encountered such a creature in his many years in politics. He is also described as a wine judge (a much more admirable calling) and a serial arsonist (which could be countenanced provided he could be relied on to torch appropriate targets, such as Labour Party headquarters in Eketahuna North).
Sorry – this is the wrong colour for our intelligence committee.
It looks like discord has broken out between Labour and the Greens. Hurrah.
The greenies are in a tizz because none of them will be sitting on Parliament’s intelligence and security committee. Hurrah again. The public can sleep more safely in their beds knowing their security is in safe hands.
It’s all the result of Labour leader Andrew Little shutting the minor parties out of a place at the table where the closed-door committee will oversee a major review of the security services this year.
The Greens – boohoo – say Little has broken the law, because he didn’t consult with any other party leaders before selecting his foreign affairs spokesman David Shearer.
Green Party co-leader Metiria Turei may well be right when she says the party has no shortage of male candidates from which to pick a replacement for Russel Norman.
Twenty-one of the 39 names on the party’s list for the 2014 election were blokes – or rather, were people with male names. But to be frank, the Grumbles would never have given names like Steffan or Reuben to their lads because they were sure this would impede their All Black prospects.
Three more of the names on the list might be males but, alas, it’s hard to tell. The first name of one of them is Sea, another is Aaryn and a third is Umesh. Alf is writing this in some haste, because he is keen to get down to the boozer to join his mates, so hasn’t had time to check out their genders.
But Turei has gone further than claiming she has no shortage of male candidates. She claimed there is no shortage of high-calibre candidates.
The truth of this is not so obvious, although the Greens may well employ a different measure of calibre than the measure employed by Alf.
She is keeping an eye on bed numbers in Southland’s mental health unit.
Alf has been seized by a serious dose of petulance, since running through the list of ministerial promotions, demotions and what-have-you and finding his name is not there.
He is especially soured (but won’t be saying so publicly) by the favours dished out to Epsom’s MP, David Seymour, who becomes an under-secretary, and to Paul Goldsmith, who stood for National, took a dive but became an MP anyway on the party list and now is a Minister .
Eketahuna North, on the other hand, has no representation in The Boss’s ministerial team.
Bloody disgrace (but don’t let him know that’s what Alf is thinking).
So instead of writing about the ministerial line-up Alf has decided to look at the shit-stirring of another Goldsmith in the politics caper.