The window washers – there’s not much difference between them and highway robbery

September 28, 2014
"Yes, I'll have your money - but you'll have a clean windscreen."

“Yes, I’ll have your money – but you’ll have a clean windscreen.”

It’s a problem – Alf is pleased to say – that does not trouble the good citizens of Eketahuna.

He is referring to the pests and misfits who plague motorists at intersections with their unsolicited window-cleaning antics.

The Waikato Times described it like this:

You slow down at an intersection only to see a man with cleaning equipment running across the road towards you. Your heart sinks, you hurriedly flip through your wallet or purse for change but find nothing. It’s all eftpos these days. Too late, you look up and see the guy has already tossed some water and soap on your windscreen and started wiping.

The practice is regulated by a city bylaw which bans people from washing the windows of vehicles stopped on the road within 50m of an intersection.

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Hamilton’s vote shows why central govt should step in on the fluoridation issue

June 15, 2013

Come on, Boss.

A bit of leadership, please.

The fact is, Prime Minster John Key is being a tad precious when he describes anti-fluoride arguments as “overstated”.

He is reported to have told the media at the National Fieldays he supports fluoridation of water supplies.

But then he said it is a matter for local councils to decide.

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Hamilton – a place where precious prudes are prohibiting a jolly good erotica expo

November 24, 2011

Here's a Hamilton who was not averse to a bit of rumpy-pumpy.


Dunno if it would have helped, but Alf gave some thought to inviting the organisers of the Erotica Expo to stage the event in his garage. He reckoned it would trigger a huge influx of visitors to Eketahuna and be great for the town’s economy.

Alas, Mrs Grumble was not too thrilled about the idea and made various threats about the withdrawal of certain services she provides. Alf backed down.

That leaves the expo with nowhere to go, after Hamilton city leaders banned it on moral grounds.

City councillors have vetoed an approach from the expo’s promoters to book the Claudelands Events Centre in March, despite the venue facing at least a $1 million loss.

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No wonder Tuku Morgan is rapturous – the Waikato regional council has just given Maori a special deal

October 29, 2011

Iwi within the Waikato Regional Council catchment are celebrating the council’s decision to create two Maori seats, according to Waatea News.

Tainui chairman Tukoroirangi Morgan says his iwi is “rapturous” at the council decision, says Radio NZ.

Of course they are celebrating. Of course they are rapturous.

They have just persuaded non-Maori on the council to tip the political playing field in their favour.

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Are we enhancing the strength of our choppers with Chinese waste – or does it corrode our IQs?

April 19, 2011

Its water is topped up with chemicals before being piped into Hamilton homes.


Alf is not fussy about what goes into the local water supply, because he does his best never to drink the stuff, including with whisky.

And – yes – he rinses his mouth after cleaning his teeth with whisky too.

Hence he has been indifferent to goings-on at a Hamilton City Council workshop on fluoridation.

Whatever went on, the Waikato District Health Board was not impressed, because it said the workshop had provided no new, robust evidence to support a change in policy.

That policy, obviously, involves tossing chemicals into the local water supply.

“Hamilton continues to have an Aa rated drinking water supply which, with the addition of fluoride, provides an effective, practical and safe means for reducing and controlling the occurrence of tooth decay in communities,” said Medical Officer of Health Dr Felicity Dumble who attended the workshop.

The source of Hamilton’s water supply, it transpires, is the Waikato River.

This river carries all sorts of stuff, much of it unpleasant by some accounts, but it naturally carries between 0.2 and 0.3 ppm (parts per million) fluoride.

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