A blow for free speech: Wi Popata has used the N word without Joris (so far) disapproving

February 6, 2012

Good news, old boy - Wi Popata says you don't have to be given a new name.

Dunno if this means Alf can put the N word back into his vocabulary.

Probably not.

But it’s heartening to learn that no arrests have been made – so far as Alf can ascertain at time of writing – in connection with the N word being bellowed at Maori politicians at Waitangi.

And Joris de Bres, our Race Relations Commissioner, has not denounced the use of the word during yet another boorish demonstration of hate and belligerence against The Boss and other political leaders.

Sure enough, the name Popata comes into the story.

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Gravity has a lot to account for, including claims that cost the ACC $272m last year

August 15, 2011

Gravity has an inevitable effect on people who slip, trip, stumble or lose their balance.

It brings them down to earth – or towards it – and their journey ends with a jolt when they hit the ground or whatever might interrupt their downwards journey.

It happens often.

More than 261,000 people were injured in falls at home last year, costing ACC $272 million.

Data released today tell us over 3,000 people were off work for more than 3 months as a result of falls in the home and almost 10,000 people were off work for more than a week.

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No, Hekia, all New Zealanders do not – alas -respect the laws of our lovely land

April 13, 2011

Is anything like this happening off the East Coast?

Alf’s gotta have a chat with Hekia Parata. She has been expressing some very strange beliefs on Morning Report.

Hekia – fine lady – was being questioned about the role of the police in protecting the Petrobras oil search from the greenies and stroppy Maori.

As Stuff reports, police issued maritime notices yesterday requiring the Greenpeace flotilla to remain at least 200 metres from the two ships.

The protesters face a fine of $10,000 or up to 12 months’ jail for breaching the notice.

The stroppy buggers were abiding by the 200m limit last night but will decide today whether to stick to it.

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Much huff and puff has been generated by an energy strategy paper that is still at the draft stage

April 4, 2011

Your far-seeing Government has produced a draft strategy on energy and energy conservation that is so robust it will need bugger all changing.

The word “draft” is important, nevertheless.

It has been removed from the cover of a version you can find on a lobby group’s website today, although – we are told by some mischief-makers – the contents are much the same as the contents of the original draft strategy which can be found on a Government website.

Alf has not had time to wade through both versions.

He doesn’t see the point, actually.

But it’s fair to say one of them has a forward by Gerry Brownlee and one has a forword by Hekia Parata.

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How to save money on MPs’ salaries – just leave seats vacant when no-one can muster solid support

November 22, 2010

Can't find the missing Labour voters down here - what about down your hole?

Alf is delighted to see Labour leaders with their bums up and heads in the sand. This seriously improves National’s prospects of increasing its numbers in Parliament at the next election.

He says this after learning Labour’s leadership (according to the Herald) has been “putting on a brave face over the party’s sharply reduced majority in the weekend’s Mana byelection…”

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Winnie was a faa foi better thing for Mana than the bloke they have just elected, obviously

November 21, 2010

Alf was chuffed by the result in the Mana by-election.

Betcha The Boss is chuffed, too.

Hekia Parata has demolished one of Labour’s strongholds in much the same way as Crusher Collins wants to demolish the cars of boy racers, turning the electorate into something much more marginal.

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Pansy’s plight lifts Eketahuna North MP’s promotion prospects – but the press are plumping for Parata

November 14, 2010

Media hacks put a bob each way on a by-election.


We learn today that “disgraced MP” Pansy Wong is said to be “gutted and humiliated” at being forced out of cabinet for abusing her travel perk.

Alf will be gutted and humiliated, too, if he doesn’t emerge from poor Pansy’s downfall with a ministerial post.

His constituents are expecting it.

Missing out would be bad news for the Grumble household, as Mrs Grumble will tell you, because Alf is apt to sulk and be seriously moody for several days after a major setback, although he prefers to keep this personality weakness under wraps.

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