Let’s brace for another hikoi – but this one is too late, because bits of NZ have been sold already

April 21, 2012

The tossers who are organising a hikoi, in the aftermath of the latest Crafar farms sale decision, should get together with the tossers at the Campaign Against Foreign Control of Aotearoa.

They both seem to have a problem with foreign investment in New Zealand.

But one of them is saying Aotearoa is not for sale and the other is saying too much of it has been sold already.

A hikoi, of course, is the Maori way of getting from the Far North to Wellington without air tickets so they can wave placards and shout abuse at politicians.

Alf accordingly is bracing to be abused yet again in a fortnight or so because the Crafar sale decision has triggered plans for another one.

Read the rest of this entry »


Forget about racism for now – the Human Rights Commission is checking out the use of a vile word

March 25, 2011

Alf is grateful to the Busted Blond for introducing him to a new and very naughty word to be used on occasions when a gross insult is intended.

Alf imagines he will make great use of it, henceforth, because his current stock of insults has lost its sting from over-use.

The word is pokokohua.

BB says there’s a shortened version of the word – hua – which is used down south.

Its a well used southern curse of the vilest kind. Its a bit like saying motherf**king C**t – it invokes a sense of outraged gravitas that lends punch to a decent insult.

As a child we once got a smack for using it.

So how come BB is banging on about a very naughty word?

Read the rest of this entry »


Advice to the Popatas: when you’ve done with protesting, limber up for the Olympics

March 22, 2011

You will be left behind if you can't maintain a brisk pace.

Alf has cause to take a fresh look at the Popata brothers, a stroppy twosome best known for roughing up the Prime Minister at Waitangi a year or so ago.

They are wasted in their occupations as a researcher and an interviewer.

Their forte – it transpires – is walking.

They are shaping up to be world-beaters.

Their strongest competition for an Olympic gold medal would come from those who have joined them on their hikoi from Cape Reinga to on Wellington.

Read the rest of this entry »


Yeah, you could get to Wellington much faster by plane but then it wouldn’t be a hikoi

March 16, 2011

It's hard on the footwear but great for publicity.

How much money does it take to organise a hikoi and where does the money come from?

That’s a question Alf was mulling over with his mates on learning of another bloody hikoi being despatched from the Far North.

The buggers are headed for Wellington, but wandering down the North Island on a protest march is not the fastest way to get there. Chartering a plane would get them there in a matter of hours and may well be much cheaper because making the journey on foot calls for several days of daily living expenses to be met for pies, burgers, fish and chips and other nourishing kai.

Read the rest of this entry »