Taxpayers’ Union has been discriminatory on perks – it forgets that some MPs (but not Alf) are “special”

October 23, 2014

pigs-bmp-for-web

The Taxpayers’ Union has been racially insensitive in taking a ping at the last-gasp spending of MPs who were headed for the political exit.

It has picked out two indigenous persons for special mention in a media statement, which is fair enough, at first blush, because indigenous persons are “special”.

But it has picked them out for critical mention.

This sadly overlooks the entitlement of our special persons to privileges that are not available to non-indigenous persons. These entitlements should include bigger dips into various public troughs than should be allowed for non-indigenous piggies.

Beyond that, Alf is discomforted whenever attention is drawn to MPs’ perks and spending of public money lest the media focus suddenly be turned on his spending, which would include lots of spending in the Eketahuna Club where Alf likes to treat his constituents, although some critics might not understand the need for him to treat voters who would never vote for anyone else but him.

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Maori like to be consulted – but who did Tuhoe consult about their ban on Urewera hunting?

October 11, 2014
Nowadays he will need Tuhoe permission.

Nowadays he will need Tuhoe permission.

Alf was never satisfied with the assurances and platitudes from Chris Finlayson, our Attorney-General, about public access to the foreshore and seabed when the issue was being argued a few years ago.

He particularly remembers ACT MP David Garrett being given the brush-off at question time in Parliament.

Finlayson was apt to insist he expected  very little of the foreshore and seabed would end up under Maori customary title through the claims process in the legislation that replaced the Foreshore and Seabed Act.

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The cops will turn up real fast if you ding a car – but where were they when Hone’s office was shot at?

August 23, 2014
"I suppose it will be like this all the time if I lose my driving licence."

“I suppose it will be like this all the time if I lose my driving licence.”

Some ungracious bastards will think it’s a shame Hone Harawira has survived unscathed after losing control of his car south of the Mangamuka Gorge.

Alf does not share this uncharitable view because he has been deeply steeped in the teachings of The Bible and has been conditioned by his religious upbringing to love his fellow man, although he might yield to temptation on occasion and say unkind things about lefties and greenies who don’t have to do too much to provoke him.

Alf further recognises that Hone is an indigenous person and therefore is entitled to special treatment, which should include special treatment from law-enforcement officers.

It seems he has been given special treatment, but not the sort that makes him happy.

Or rather, Hone reckons enforcement officers’ response rates differ, depending on whether he is a complainant or the driver of a crashed car.

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Radio NZ enables Hone to reach a much bigger audience than the one he reached in Helensville

August 12, 2014

Radio NZ’s leftie leanings were on view – or rather, plainly heard – on Morning Report this morning.

That’s Alf’s judgement, anyway, and he will be sharing it with his mates at the Eketahuna Club tonight. He expects none will challenge this view, especially after he has offered to pay for the first three rounds.

In one item the Morning Report team was exposing us to the grizzles of Opposition politicians who were reported to be complaining that last night’s candidates’ meeting in the Prime Minister’s electorate of Helensville had been stacked against them.

Another item had Key’s opponents complaining that he broke the rules during the meeting.

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No, we shouldn’t be following the bloody wowsers – let’s take our cues on leadership from Churchill

August 1, 2014
Here's where prohibition takes you.

Here’s where prohibition takes you.

Alf was alarmed to learn The Boss has confessed to guests at a fundraising event that he has been on the wagon since his return from a Hawaii holiday last month.

According to this report at Stuff:

Key revealed his abstinence at a fundraising event at Wellington’s Dockside restaurant on Wednesday night. He noted the irony about delivering a speech while standing in the bar.

A spokeswoman said “He is just taking good care of himself for the campaign.” Key is known to favour pinor noir and English-brewed Bath Ales.

Obviously The Boss did not consult Alf before taking what looks like a drastic as well as highly unnecessary course of action.

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Good sense shows in talk about upholding hotel owners’ right to ensure against unmarried coupling

June 21, 2014
Give a dog a bad name and....

Give a dog a bad name and….

The Brits have shown us the way – or at least, one Brit has – in recent days.

No, not the England soccer team obviously.

The lesson in this case comes from a judge able to admit she was wrong (or may have been wrong) when she condemned a Christian couple for turning away gay guests from their hotel.

More important, this judge has invited an audience of legal luminaries in Ireland to have another think about matters of conscience and the protection of our rights in an awfully PC modern world.

 

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Some stuff is best read for laughs, including advice to take the Internet Party seriously

May 31, 2014
Sadly, he is not on the Internet Mana list.

Sadly, he is not on the Mana Internet list.

Alf enjoys humour so was immediately tempted to look for the laughs that were bound to be extracted from a Herald item under the headline:

John Armstrong: Internet Mana best taken seriously

Armstrong is a political writer for whom Alf might have a higher regard were he to take some note of the Eketahuna North member’s words of wisdom, which flow regularly in speeches in the House, on the hustings and to mates in the Eketahuna Club, but are never recorded by the aforementioned political writer.

This lack of an appreciation for powerful and well-considered rhetoric means Alf reads Armstrong only for the chuckles.

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