How many critical tweets does it take to extract an abject apology from a twit? Just ask Phil Twyford

December 5, 2014

Let’s chalk this one up as another wimpy Labour surrender to the forces of political correctness, if not feminism.

According to the NZ Herald, Phil Twyford has apologised on Twitter after Social Housing Minister Paula Bennett bailed him up as sexist for making a cat claw gesture at her in Parliament.

Alf must have had his head down in his heavy portfolio of paper work at the time, because he missed Twyford making the gesture to indicate Bennett was catty after some howz-yer-father about answers to his questions about housing.

Whatever happened during the exchange, it somehow finished up on Twitter.

The twittering Twyford – challenged about his cat claw gesture – was initially unrepentant, tweeting in response to one questioner that it was “entirely appropriate.”

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We’re in sad shape, Boss, when someone like Jacinda can have you saying sorry for your quips

November 12, 2014
...at least, not until my jokes fall flat.

…at least, not until my jokes fall flat.

Dunno why The Boss is apologising for making a joking referenceto convicted murderer Phillip John Smith fleeing the country.

But he is apologising, according to the Herald and other media.

As everybody in the Eketahuna Club seems to know, Smith was let out on temporary release from jail without anyone having the wit to think maybe he should be electronically monitored.

He did a bunk and flew to Chile using a passport obtained in his birth name.

And – so far as the best guess has it – he is now somehow in Brazil.

Sure, it hasn’t been much fun for the family of Smith’s victims. They have said they were fearful and some got police protection.

But there’s a funny side to it, if you have a wry sense of humour, including the increasing evidence that maybe Smith should be running the Corrections Department instead of the officials now in charge.

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If Anne Tolley wasn’t such a plod, her Labour counterpart might now be locked up

November 29, 2013
"Oh dear, I can't find the key."

“And then I will throw away the key.”

It’s disappointing to say this about a colleague, but Police Minister Anne Tolley being much too blinkered about shadow police minister Jacinda Ardern.

What’s more, she seriously lacks imagination.

As a consequence of her somewhat plodding approach to denying her Labour opponent access to the country’s cop shops, Ardern has gained media coverage by bleating about being “banned” from visiting police stations.

If Tolley had allowed the visits to proceed, members of the public would have no cause to wonder if the Minister is being much too authoritarian and Ardern hard done by.

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Mallard comes up with a new rule to muzzle Our Maggie’s joshing of the childless Jacinda

July 26, 2012

Dunno if you should put children in it, but it’s good for coal. And for ill-considered private member’s bills.

The wonderful Maggie Barry showed them Labour tossers a thing or two yesterday.

She refused to apologise for claiming Labour’s Jacinda Ardern was ill-equipped to comment on paid parental leave because she did not have any children.

Maggie made that remark while we were debating a private member’s bill proposing to extend leave from 14 weeks to six months.

The bill is sponsored by Labour’s Sue Moroney (who happens to have two children, the last time Alf counted).

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The Treasury forecasters say 170,000 new jobs – so who are we to quibble?

June 10, 2011

And you can throw 170,000 net new jobs into your Budget speech, Bill.


Dunno why the socialist sceptics about employment growth don’t take their silly questions to the Treasury.

The bright buggers there know where their numbers come from.

And it’s their numbers that we find in the Budget forecasts.

Labour MPs are wasting their breath, therefore, trying to find out what the Ministry for Economic Development is doing to generate those jobs.

The role of the Treasury was emphasised by none other than The Boss just the other day in answer to a parliamentary question.

The irksome Jacinda Ardern asked him if he stood by his statement “the Budget will create in the order of 170,000 jobs”?

He put her in her place real fast:

“I stand by my full statement, which was: ‘The Treasury forecasts are that the Budget will create in the order of 170,000 jobs’, and that is true.”

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Shane Jones is tipped to make a come-back, but who is the tipster and where has Jones been?

January 4, 2011

And my New Year resolution is to stick to the Walt Disney channel.

Alf is always fascinated by political reports built on a mix of firm quotes and vague tip-offs and understandings.

A splendid example pops up in the Herald today.

Shane Jones (pictured here) is tipped to be handed the Opposition Maori Affairs portfolio and placed on the frontbench as Labour prepares its lineup for the election.

Tipped? By who?

Oh, look.

A big fat clue.

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