US has sadly forgotten we Kiwis were on their side against the scoundrels who bombed Pearl Harbour

July 4, 2012

The buggers who did this are back in Pearl Harbour as America’s mates – but New Zealand has been shunned.

The Americans have never rated highly as a civilized country, in Alf’s judgement, not since that nonsense in the 18th century when 13 colonies in North America joined together to break free from the British Empire, combining to become the United States of America.

Our history books tell us they first rejected the authority of the Parliament of Great Britain to govern them from overseas without representation.

This might have been fair enough in the circumstances, perhaps, if the parliamentarians then were as lack-lustre as the buggers running the show now.

The outrage is that the so-called American patriots then expelled all royal officials.

This – in Alf’s book – condemned them to be forever ranked away down there among the world’s more uncouth nations, regardless of the military muscle they can flex, which is ample enough to make them the mightiest country on earth today according to that crude measure.

If the NZ Herald’s John Armstrong had been a scribe at the time, Alf would have applauded him for describing the American action against the Crown as petty, petulant and pathetic.

Obviously the Americans haven’t become one whit more sophisticated, civilized or gracious since the days of the American Revolution.

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The PM could save Coro Street – by sacking Coleman and giving Broadcasting to Alf, for example

October 1, 2011

Mrs Grumble became deeply depressed, a couple of days back. We can blame the mandarins at TVNZ for her condition. The deranged bastards in charge of programming have decided to break the habit of a lifetime and switch the screening time for Coronation Street.

They have done what? her ever-loving husband asked.

They are moving Coro Street from its usual 7.30pm slot on Tuesdays and Thursdays to 5.30pm, she reiterated.

And then came the vituperative demand: “What is your bloody government going to do about it?”

We can put her very rare use of the word “bloody” down to her deep and palpable anguish.

But she had a point.

TVNZ is state-owned.

We Nats are running the government these days – and will be for the next several years, on the strength of the opinion polls.

So why not some good old-fashioned Muldoonist ministerial intervention?

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Let’s hear it loud and clear: Govt is unmoved by Mutu’s call for a colour bar in immigration policy

September 11, 2011

At the very end of a report in the Sunday Star-Times today, we learn that Immigration Minister Jonathan Coleman has no immediate plans to change the country’s immigration approach.

“New Zealand’s immigration policy is firmly focused on attracting migrants who can contribute to New Zealand.”

That’s as it should be.

Well, almost as good as it should be.

It can be an ominous sign when a Minister says he has no immediate plans to do something.

But it’s bloody absurd to imagine immigration policy should be changed on the strength of (a) the urging of a stroppy Maori academic and (b) a survey showing Maori antipathy to immigrants.

The SST story was a follow-up to its report last week recording Maggie Mutu’s controversial call to curb white immigration.

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Unwelcome asylum seekers: as Happy Feet knows, coming here by sea is not what rankles us

July 13, 2011

If you come here from Antarctica you will get a warmer reception.

Alf has been fascinated by the fuss generated by a bunch of Sri Lankan asylum seekers.

The bloody news media have been trying to show Jonathan Coleman, our Minister of Immigration, and The Boss are not singing from the same hymn book on the matter of where the asylum seekers were headed.

Coleman apparently suggested a boat holding 88 Tamil Sri Lankans was not bound for New Zealand. John Key is not so sure.

As most people now know, the Indonesian Navy intercepted the boat on Saturday.

Some on board were holding New Zealand flags and signs saying “We like to go to Newsland” and “Our future life is in Newsland”.

John Key says the captain of the boat said they were coming to New Zealand – though it may have been bound for elsewhere – and it was only a matter of time before more ships would target New Zealand.

Actually, “Newsland” suggests to Alf they were hoping to settle down somewhere within Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation.

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Another freedom is about to be crimped as the bureaucrats move in on campers

January 8, 2011

Labour's response to a violent attack on this campervan? It wants more education of campers.

So some bugger from Christchurch – no surprises there – has been arrested for allegedly trying to set fire to a campervan with two people in it.

Alf is obliged to use words like alleged because this bloke has been charged with attempted murder.

According to the cops, they were called to a Tasman District Council reserve at Tamatea Point in Pakawau, between Collingwood and Farewell Spit, about 5.50am after a couple said someone had shot at, smashed and attempted to set fire to their campervan.

If the couple have given a correct account of what happened, then the someone who did the shooting, smashing and attempted burning has behaved in a very anti-social way.

So what would the Labour Party do?

Oh, yes. It would make campers clean up their act.

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Our big chance to flock to Te Reo commentaries

October 14, 2009

It looks like the nation is being given a splendid opportunity to express the strength of its enthusiasm for part-Maori rugby commentaries. Or not.

We will be able to cast our votes by tuning into an all-English broadcast – or by opting for broadcasts which include a 5-10% smattering of Te Reo.

The chance to cast these votes is about the only good that comes from the shambles of the battle to win free-to-air Rugby World Cup broadcast rights.

Maori Affairs Minister Pita Sharples is kicking up a fuss this morning about the gazzumping of the Maori Television Service’s attempt to secure the rights. But let’s face it – he contributed to the shambles by failing to mention to Cabinet colleagues his approval of the spending of $3m of Te Puni Kokiri money for the Maori service to secure the bid.

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Answer no and you’ll be accused of racism

October 10, 2009

The Herald asks a silly question today, apropos the fuss over Maori Television Service’s bid – buttressed by $3 million of your money and mine – to secure free-to-air broadcasting rights for the Rugby World Cup.

The question is: Would you be happy to watch Rugby World Cup games on Maori TV?

Answer no, and there’s a fair chance you’ll be branded a racist.

Anyway, being “happy” about watching the games on Maori TV is not the point.

Let’s put the question a different way.

Should the free-to-air broadcasting rights go to

* A TV channel which will finance its bid with $3 million of tax money (your dosh and mine) and then require you to get a rudimentary grip on another language to understand all of the commentary? Or

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Warning against employment xenophobia

March 26, 2009

An outfit called the Productive Economy Council is sounding a warning against sending migrant workers back home as firms reduce staff numbers.

Just what influence the council wields is open to conjecture, and it is probably pissing in the wind. There are strong feelings on this one – a groundswell of xenophobia, you might say, as jobs become harder to hold on to and find.

But the council makes sense when it says the government needs to think carefully before deciding to limit temporary work visas for skilled migrants or interfere with the retention decisions of companies.
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