Calls for getting rid of religious hate are welcomed but who will fight for Kate’s honour?

September 20, 2012

St George…so where is his modern-day equivalent?

Where are the bloody champions of civilized behaviour when a lady’s honour needs defending?

Alf raises this question after a bunch of religious leaders condemned the film that has sparked violent protests among the world’s Muslims and extreme reactions to it.

They have issued a statement (here) through the Office of Joris de Bres, the Race Relations Commissioner.

The statement is not likely to do a fat rat of good where it matters, which is among mad bastards who want to provoke Muslims with their ill-considered movies, cartoons, books or whatever, or among those Muslims with low tolerance thresholds who don’t need much of a pretext to declare a jihad or go on the rampage.

Some of the provocateurs on the publishing side of the issue can be found in France.

A bunch of feeble-witted Frogs has been involved in the publication of inflammatory cartoons of The Prophet Mohammad.

Are they really so short-changed in the thinking department that they don’t realise cartoons of this sort trigger much the same reaction as a match being tossed into a tank of petrol?

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Joris is back with some concerns about poverty – but leaves 100,000 or so kids out of considerations

July 27, 2012

It looks like the hacks at Stuff might not have got it quite right, when they reported what Joris de Bres told the Maori Affairs Select Committee.

The committee is holding an inquiry into the well-being of Maori children.

This was timely, coinciding with the release of the coroner’s report on the deaths of the Kahui kids.

The first sentence of the Stuff account of de Bres’ presentation (here) tells us –

Maori children are being denied their basic human rights, Race Relations Commissioner Joris de Bres said.

Huh?

That’s awful.

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Sorry, folks, but Joris thinks we are too ill-informed (or stupid?) to be allowed to vote on some matters

May 20, 2012

The voters of Nelson have spoken – convincingly – on what they think about the provision of a race-based Maori seat on their local council.

They have rejected a proposal that a dedicated Maori ward be established, a move the city council itself supported.

Actually, you could say the voters have been thoroughly outspoken on the matter.

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Information (they say) is power – so who is getting inside information in the Bay of Plenty?

April 13, 2012

Dunno if Alf would be kicked out, should he try to get in.

But he is curious about a gabfest being organised (and presumably paid for with public money) by the Bay of Plenty Regional Council

The headline on the council’s announcement says –

Top Speakers For Māori-Led Conference

The announcement goes on to say –

Prominent New Zealanders and Māori academics will be speaking at this month’s Tauranga conference for Bay of Plenty Māori.

And –

The conference is aimed at Māori living in, or with an interest in the Bay of Plenty.

Oh dear. Alf is not a Maori. And he does not live in the Bay of Plenty. That seems to rule him out.

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Another job for the PC police – taking the smut out of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

December 18, 2011

More offensive than the goods in a sex shop?

Political correctness gone mad, as they say…

Ah, but has the madness gone further in this country than elsewhere?

Or can the Brits lay claim to being more crazed than us?

In that country a group of toddlers has been re-educated in how to sing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” with hand gestures to ensure they do not offend the deaf.

In sign language – it seems – you’ve got to be careful when you make a star shape, because in British sign language it translates into a woman’s genitalia.

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Immigrants and the colour bar: why Margaret Mutu is incapable of making racist remarks

September 8, 2011

You’ve got to love Maggie Mutu’s gall.

She has proclaimed herself (a) to be powerless, which (b) magically makes her immune from being a racist.

This, of course, is a fascinating paradox. There is a potent force in powerlessness.

But her claim is recorded in black and white – to coin a phrase – in the newspapers today.

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Forget about racism for now – the Human Rights Commission is checking out the use of a vile word

March 25, 2011

Alf is grateful to the Busted Blond for introducing him to a new and very naughty word to be used on occasions when a gross insult is intended.

Alf imagines he will make great use of it, henceforth, because his current stock of insults has lost its sting from over-use.

The word is pokokohua.

BB says there’s a shortened version of the word – hua – which is used down south.

Its a well used southern curse of the vilest kind. Its a bit like saying motherf**king C**t – it invokes a sense of outraged gravitas that lends punch to a decent insult.

As a child we once got a smack for using it.

So how come BB is banging on about a very naughty word?

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Will Maggie Mutu complain again to Joris about racial confrontation? Probably not

February 6, 2011

Confrontation in November 2010 ...

...and confrontation in February 2011.

Waitangi Day has dawned and Radio NZ National has dished up an especially sugary dollop of pap for the kiddies at Stortytime, including The Treaty, by Bernard Gadd, told by Riwia Brown, Karanga, by Lynne Taane, told by Roma Potiki, and Whenua Tapu – Guide Rangi, by Caroline Down, told by Rima te Wiata.

There’s plenty of similar stuff in store for adult listeners, including “The Te Papa Treaty Debates 2011” from just after 4pm through until 5pm. During this time the radio audience will be subjected to an overdose of yapping about…

Power-sharing in the 21st century, with Whaimutu Dewes and Joris de Bres. Co-chaired by Claudia Orange and Carwyn Jones

Alf will be watching sport on the telly at that time. Any sport will do to steer clear of Joris: synchronised swimming, underwater hockey, tiddlywinks, pigeon racing…

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A blind eye is turned to Waitangi Day koha – so can other businesses charge discriminatory fees?

February 3, 2011

Horatio Nelson...he would have spotted the discrimination even if he looked with his blind eye.

Alf was driven yesterday to question what is so big deal about the Maori way of sorting out Hone Harawira’s differences with the rest of his Maori Party caucus.

Today he is looking into The Maori Way of plundering the Pakeha news media.

At first glimpse it seems calculated to land the buggers in big trouble with the Race Relations police.

Plans are afoot to impose a $1000 fee on the general media to go on to a marae on Waitangi Day, but no fee will be imposed on Maori media.

Hello.

Does anyone get the faintest whiff of discrimination here?

Alf imagines opening up a business – let’s say – as a barber.

He will offer free haircuts to the general population.

But if you are a Maori he will whop you with a $50 charge for his services.

No, he won’t go broke, because long before his capital has evaporated we can count on a warning shot being fired across his bows by Joris de Bres, and if the warning is ignored, he will be prosecuted.

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How long would you wait to find if these boxes aren’t a passport to Paradise and 70 virgins?

December 13, 2010

It turns out they contain Biblical verses, not explosives.

Joris de Bres has demonstrated yet again why he and his job should be abolished.

He is saying the crew of an inter-island ferry over-reacted when they spotted a fellow strapping strange-looking boxes to his body.

Over-reacted be buggered.

The crew quite appropriately alerted the cops and kept a close eye on the suspicious-looking character, and a full-scale alert was mounted.

This was a helluva lot less extreme than Alf’s response would have been if he had been the captain.

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