Well done, Beatrice, for deciding against a space trip – now let’s see if Kim Dotcom can have your seat(s)

The head gear’s far out, but she’s staying down here on earth.

Alf is delighted to learn that one of the Royals has had the good sense to reconsider becoming a pioneering space tourist.

Princess Beatrice was expected to be one of Sir Richard Branson’s most famous passengers. But the Daily Mail reassures us today she will not be going anywhere near his Virgin Galactic spacecraft after a test pilot was killed last week.

The story has been written by a newspaper scribe with a name that suggests he has writing in his genes, Sebastian Shakespeare.

‘Beatrice was excited by the idea of space tourism, but there is no way she will be going on one of the flights, if they are ever allowed to take place,’ a source close to Buckingham Palace tells me.