Do you fancy trying out this wee trick to get yourself a bit of rumpy-pumpy?

February 25, 2011

If he offers you a wee dram, make sure it's not 100% wee.

Male Capuchin monkeys wash in their own pee to try to pull the sheilas.

Or so Alf reads today in his Telegraph.

This is troubling.

It causes Alf to seriously question Darwinian theories that would have splendid blokes like him trace their lineage back to apes.

That no doubt is true of Labour and Green Party supporters.

But it can’t possibly be true of true-blue Nats, who clearly originate from a profoundly superior species.

Mind you, Alf has read about a few blokes who drank or drink their own pee – Gandhi, Jim Morrison, John Lennon, Keith Richards and Steve McQueen (who, it is said, in the last stages of cancer, survived solely on a diet of urine and boiled alligator skin prescribed by his Mexican doctors).

We should not be surprised to find that most of them are dead.

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