Trade unionists learn something vital about Fiji – it doesn’t have a democratic government

So who coughed up the money to teach trade union leaders something the rest of us already knew?

The lesson is that Fiji is not a democracy.

Alf knew that without having to get on a plane and fly there.

But Helen Kelly, president of the CTU, flew there with a bunch of Aussies to find out the hard way, presuambly with tickets paid for by hard-working union members.

It’ s just as well Kevin Rudd is a good diplomat and won’t give advice to Goff on how to handle the reds

So if Phil can't get any advice from Kevin Rudd, maybe he should consult this bloke.

A bizarre Radio NZ item news item jolted Alf from his sleep.

The nub of it was that former Australian prime minister Kevin Rudd was saying he has no leadership advice for Phil Goff.

It went on to report what already was well known – that questions are being raised about the Labour leader’s future because of his handling of the media ruckus over a police investigation involving former list MP Darren Hughes, who resigned on Friday.

If any of Alf’s constituents give a toss about Goff and his possible fate at the hands of his power-hungry caucus colleagues, they can look here and here.

As the movie moguls fly in, Phil Goff flies out – but will he confront Simon Whipp?

The good news: Phil Goff is off to Australia.

The bad news: he has a return ticket.

But he won’t be back in time to help or hamper desperate effort to repair the damage done by threats of an international actors’ boycott of The Hobbit.

So they’ll tan Gillard’s hide when she dies, folk, and you’ll find it hanging in the shed

Harry could finish up as a handbag like this, but Gillard's hide is much thicker...

Alf expects heads to roll in the aftermath of the Aussie election.

Yeah, the pundits are saying it’s too close to call.

But Alf is ready to predict the rolling of a red-head, the Gillard woman, whose toppling will be no great shame and will have the great benefit of sparing us further exposure to a Strine voice so acerbic it will strip paint from anything within 50 metres.

The second head to go will be that of the crocodile whose psychic powers are about as strong as those in Alf’s dunny seat, which are not much.

The expectation that those heads will roll follows naturally from news that Australia is facing its first hung parliament since 1940.

The ABC is tipping the Coalition to have 73 seats in the House of Representatives, with Labor on 72, four independents and one Green.

Coalition leader Tony Abbott is saying he stands ready to govern Australia.