North Korea – where the punishment for drinking during the mourning period can be mortar-fying

Gotta say it’s great to have been born a Kiwi and not a North Korean.

Among other things, your North Korean authorities took a very dim view of anyone indulging in pleasurable activities throughout the mourning period for Kim Jong-il.

We are talking about a 100-day mourning period and we are talking about drinking being a pleasurable activity.

Having to abstain from drink for 100 days would sorely test Alf and – fair to say – most of his mates.

Mind you, perhaps the North Korean tipple is rice wine or some such, in which case maybe Alf could give it a miss for 100 days, and even for a lifetime.

Yes, there was a pong around Kim Jong Il – and here you’ll learn why

Nobody wants to sit beside a shit - not even in North Korea.

Official accounts of the death of North Korea’s self-styled “Dear Leader” – like just about everything from that benighted country – should be disbelieved.

They are saying Kim Jong Il died from a heart attack while travelling by train on Saturday morning.

Nah.

We get lots of clues to what really happened from this obituary.