Ratana take the t-shirts off the backs of their people – and all because of a political joke

February 24, 2015

Those of you who bothered taking much notice (if any) of the politicians who flocked to the Ratana Church birthday bash a week or so ago probably missed it.

Alf most certainly can’t remember the media drawing attention to it, and they always pounce like vultures when they see this sort of thing.

The chance they missed -we now find – was a prime ministerial blue.

Yep. The Boss blundered.

Personally, Alf reckons he blundered simply by turning up there to pay homage to a bloke who claimed a century or so ago to have seen a vision.

Moreover he regarded this vision as divinely inspired,and he likened himself to Christ.

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Much ado about Little – a tawdry tale of the Labour leader’s failure to keep a wedding vow

February 20, 2015
But Andrew reneged on the nuptials.

But Andrew reneged on the nuptials.

Alf was bemused by a post at Imperator Fish, where the privilege of a guest post has been extended to one Norman Wildebeest.

This Wildebeest bloke is described as a respectable town planner, although Alf has never encountered such a creature in his many years in politics. He is also described as a wine judge (a much more admirable calling) and a serial arsonist (which could be countenanced provided he could be relied on to torch appropriate targets, such as Labour Party headquarters in Eketahuna North).

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Those bleats from Turei should trigger a big hurray – the spy-monitoring committee will be Green-free

February 18, 2015


Sorry - he's the wrong colour for our intelligence committee.

Sorry – this is the wrong colour for our intelligence committee.

It looks like discord has broken out between Labour and the Greens. Hurrah.

The greenies are in a tizz because none of them will be sitting on Parliament’s intelligence and security committee. Hurrah again. The public can sleep more safely in their beds knowing their security is in safe hands.

It’s all the result of Labour leader Andrew Little shutting the minor parties  out of a place at the table where the closed-door committee will oversee a major review of the security services this year.

The Greens – boohoo – say Little has broken the law, because he didn’t consult with any other party leaders before selecting his foreign affairs spokesman David Shearer.

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Congratulations to the Labour Party – they have just eased the way for we Nats to win a fourth term

November 18, 2014

So what’s the magnitude of the challenge for we Nats when we set about winning a fourth successive term in government?

A little one, it turns out.

According to the NZ Herald in this report:

Labour has chosen Andrew Little as its new leader.

Mr Little, who emerged the winner after a tight battle that went into a third round of voting, said it was an “immense privilege” to have been chosen.

“Labour is the party that has always been at the forefront of real and meaningful change that benefits all New Zealanders and that is the tradition I will honour as leader.”

The change at which it has been to the forefront in recent times, of course, is its propensity for changing leaders.

And now that Andrew is in charge we can expect a change in policies, because he wasn’t too chuffed about the ones Labour took into the last election.

Alf was going to look much harder at Little’s elevation to the leadership for the edification of his constituents, few (if any) of whom care much for Little, or Labour or its policies.

But he has been beaten to the draw by the splendid Ele at Homepaddock.

She looks at an analysis of the vote and concludes it isn’t a ringing endorsement.

Which it isn’t.

Does Alf much care?

Not really.

And Ele’s post means he can wander down to the club and nestle down with a few mates for a natter about life, the universe and all that.

Has Andrew Little gone silent? Yes, but only about his Labour leadership ambitions

October 5, 2014
"But keeping quiet isn't my strong suit."

“But keeping quiet isn’t my strong suit.”

On the front page of the NZ Herald, one item grabbed Alf’s attention: It was headed Little not saying much and it steered readers to an item headed…

Little dodges leadership contest questions.

Oh joy, Alf thought.

Has the Labour MP been struck dumb?

Alas, no.

Rather, he he was being evasive – or had gone coy.

Labour MP Andrew Little has dodged questions about whether or not he will throw his hat into ring of the leadership contest.

Speaking on TV3’s The Nation this morning, Mr Little said he is waiting until after final election results are released today before he starts to make a decision.

“I’m just waiting to see whether I am going to still be in parliament, I won’t know until 2pm today,” he said.

“It is not something I have given thought to at this point, but if I am confirmed today I will have an opportunity to think about it, and if I’m not I’ll find other ways to support the cause.”

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TGH boss should watch out for the knives as he pitches for a few more million dollars

October 4, 2014
The board is backing him...so who wants him out?

The board is backing him…so who wants him out?

Waikato-Tainui, the indigenous persons who occupy the Waikato region, seem to have learned something from the Labour Party.

The something they seem to have learned is the art of challenging – if not overthrowing – the  leadership.

Alf learns this today from the local rag in that neck of the woods.

Attempts are being made to unseat the boss of Waikato’s economic powerhouse Tainui Group Holdings, in a document questioning his leadership appearing ahead of a crucial meeting this weekend.

But chief executive Mike Pohio’s supporters say it’s a smear campaign ahead of a big request for funds from the tribe to finance the company’s ambitious growth plans.

Nobody seems to be willing to put their hands up and identify themselves as being part of the overthrow plot.

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Keep an eye on Charlie the Chimp – he gibbers, sure, but he would make one helluva great Labour leader

October 2, 2014
You can have a loser, or a gay...or me.

You can have a loser, or a gay…or me.

Up the road an hour or two from Eketahuna, Stuart Nash has been having second and then third thoughts about Labour’s leadership.

He obviously fancies himself in the job but is running hot and cold on the matter, if we are to believe this report.

A third contender could be about to enter the ring for Labour leadership, with MP Stuart Nash reportedly reconsidering his position.

Mr Nash ruled out contesting the leadership last week, leaving Grant Robertson and former leader David Cunliffe the only candidates in the running.

There is some concern the mood for change in the party won’t be satisfied with Mr Robertson as leader and RadioLIVE reports there is lobbying for Mr Nash who is seen as an electable Prime Minister.

If he can bring in Te Tai Tokerau MP Kelvin Davis as a potential deputy it would secure crucial Maori votes. Unions have a 20 percent say in the election primary and it’s understood they’re open to the idea. In caucus there’s also a sizable group who would likely get in behind him.

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Steve Gibson’s handicap: he’s too fricking honest for the good of the Labour Party

September 9, 2014
Drink up ... it's a truth drug.

Drink up … it’s a truth drug.

The remarkably stormy political career of a leftie by name of Steve Gibson was entirely predictable.

By his own account, the Labour Party’s Rangitata candidate is “too fricking honest”.

This clearly disqualifies him from standing for any party run by lefties or greenies and Alf is astonished that he ever signed up with any party with those leanings.

It was inevitable that David Cunliffe would soon be saying Gibson has no future as a Labour candidate.

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The cops must be more careful now, so let’s find another way of putting Labour out of its misery

August 28, 2014
It was never going to win, anyway, and now it can be turned into dog tucker.

It was never going to win, anyway, so we should turn it into dog tucker.

Well, who’d have believed it?

It seems the cops sometimes exceed their authority in shutting down out-of-control parties.

That’s what the Independent Police Conduct Authority report has found, according to a report in the NZ Herald.

Alf had hoped the cops could do anything they bloody well liked to shut down a too-boisterous party.

It seems not, although the authority has acknowledged police are often confronted with difficult situations when called to deal with such incidents.

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Oh joy – it seems Clark Gargle could be cheaper than we thought (if there is any demand for it at all)

June 25, 2014

Alf feels obliged – in the name of fair play – to record that businessman Donghua Liu has issued a new statement to the Herald about his contributions to the Labour Party.

Whether this means the record has been put straight can not be guaranteed, because a story that can be changed once can readily be changed again.

But for now, it is reasonable to say Liu might not have been as generous to the Lefties as it seemed a few days ago.

This will bring some relief to Lefties and a great deal of satisfaction to Alf, who could not imagine a shrewd businessman wanting to give the proverbial brass razoo to the Lefties.

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